Detained
by Teyerin
Summary: A what if inspired from the flashbacks in “Safe.” What if Simon didn’t make it out as planned to get to River?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't belong to the wonderful world of Whedon; nor own anything from it.

A/N – Inspired 'what-if' based from the flashbacks in "Safe." What if Simon didn't make it out as planned to get to River?

Detained

"I will not let you destroy this family!"

Simon Tam looked at his father, slightly amused, somewhat annoyed, and absolutely still. Without the betrayal of a smile, Simon replied evenly, "I didn't realize it was that easy."

"I wouldn't dare take that flippant tone if I were you, son!"

For a fleeting second, Simon expected his father to strike him then and there. But, what sort of impression would that leave of his father while they were still in the penitentiary.

Simon had argued the same case he fought for the last four months – his sister was in trouble and he needed to help her. In the beginning, his parents dismissed it the same way they did anything else that wasn't seriously important to them. This time, however…

"Dad," he said, continuing his protest, "I- I didn't do anything."

"You were in a blackout zone!" Gabriel shook his head. 'This is a slippery slope young man. You have no idea how far down you can go."

"Meaning what?" Simon asked, not listening for an answer as his mind raced with yet another plan to meet with the informants in the alley located in the blackout zone. He had enough credits left with him to buy-.

"We're going home," Gabriel Tam said.

Simon shook his head, focused on rethinking an item of his plan.

"You're coming home, now," his father said, grabbing Simon's arm none too gently.

It was raining when they made it to the parking area. Simon noticed the family driver, Benat, waiting for them, without an umbrella. Why it didn't register with Simon until it was too late, he didn't know as his father steered him to the back of the car.

Benat punched him in the stomach with enough force that Simon doubled over in pain. One arm wrapped around his stomach, struggling to regain his breath, as the other went up to block any more hits. Instead, Benat grabbed the offered elbow, twisted it in the direction of the now opened back door of the car, and pushed Simon in.

Simon responded by kicking wildly at Benat while reaching for the other door on the driver's side. His father entered the front passenger seat, grabbed both of his son's wrists and pulled him towards the front. Benat closed the door before climbing behind the wheel. Simon continued to struggle against his father's grasp until Benat delivered a second punch to the stomach.

His wrists released, Simon curled up in a fetal position, fighting to breathe, fighting to make sense of what was happening. He turned to look up at his father. "T- This…is…k-…kidn-!"

"Kidnapping?" Gabriel finished for him. "Taking you home isn't kidnapping, _son_." Before Simon could say anything else, Benat struck him in the jaw.

The last thing he saw was the rain, sparkling against the streetlights.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Pardon the delay – wrapping up torment elsewhere first. Now I can properly focus on this.

Chapter 2 –Home: First Night

"Simon, honey."

He felt someone stroking his hair, still damp from the rain, he assumed. It took him a moment to realize that he was in bed, in his room. Yet the voice sounded different in here.

"Simon."

He knew the voice, knew the syrupy sound now singing when things weren't so…swell. Whenever his mother used that tone, it was meant to make the listener feel sorry, feel guilty, usually for something she had done, but of course it was the listener's fault. The last thing he wanted to do was open his eyes.

"Simon. Sit up and drink this." He felt a teacup and saucer being pressed into his hands. "It will make you feel better."

He laughed silently to himself. As if a cup of tea, with a spoonful of sugar, could make the bitterness go down, he thought. Such stupidity, he thought as he lay still.

The hand left his face now and clasped a shoulder, pulling him to an upright position. "Drink," she said. He had half a mind to ignore her request, half a mind to dump the cup and contents onto the floor just to annoy her.

Fingernails dug into his flesh, as if his mother had sensed his thoughts. "Stop this childishness this instant, Simon Sean Tam!"

Wincing in pain, Simon complied, looking into the eyes of Regan Tam. A moderately regal woman, she believed in giving her children everything possible. Everything but herself and her time, Simon lamented. Had that played a part in River's decision to leave for the Academy, he wondered?

"Mom, I-."

"Drink," she said, putting the cup to his lips.

He did as he was told, wrinkling his nose at the smell of the flowery brew overpowering him. At least it was sweetened with honey and not sugar, he thought as he emptied the cup, and then handed it back to his mother.

Placing his hands on her shoulders to steady himself, Simon swung his legs toward the floor. "I have to go, Mom." He noticed that his socks and shoes were gone. "I have to-."

"No, you don't," Regan said. "You can't. You won't."

This time, Simon laughed out loud, a bit of sadness added. "I have to find River, Mom. Please, let me-."

"No."

Ignoring her, he stood up, finally registering his surroundings. The shutters and closet doors were closed and the pictures he had hanging on the walls were gone.

"Mom?"

Instead of answering, Regan Tam injected her son with a syringe she took from her pocket. Son and mother locked eyes until the younger one lost the battle with the contents of the needle, his eyelids falling just as fast as the rest of him back onto the bed.

He tried to focus on his body's responses to determine what drug it was. Just when he thought he had it, other questions entered his mind – Where did his mother get it from? Did it come from his bag? If so, what did he usually carry in there, then? What was the dosage? What was he up against? How long would it last?

"Mom? Wh-?"

The last thing he heard was, "I'm sorry, son. It's for your own good."

--------------

He didn't know how much time passed when he finally woke up. No one was in the now barren room with him, so that was a mixed blessing. Problem was that he did not know where his parents were. He went to the door only to find it locked. Walking to his closet, Simon found it empty of all of his clothes and shoes. Going to the window, not only were the shutters closed, but secured. He wasn't aware of a lock on them before.

His bedroom door opened, and in the doorway stood his father.

"It's for your own good," Gabriel said.

Simon imagined what his father looked like at that moment. This was someone who was supposed to protect him, support him, Simon thought. Instead, his father was a prison guard, an obstacle to deal with, to push past. After all, Simon still had to get to River.

"Why don't you believe me?" Simon asked softly. "Why won't you help me free her?"

"I've called the hospital and informed your supervisor that you were in need of extended rest."

Simon shook his head. "That's not what I need, Dad."

"I'm sorry it's come this."

"Are you?"

Gabriel's voice grew cold. "Don't you dare talk to me that way, young man."

"What? I'm no longer your son, either?" Simon chuckled. "What am I then, Dad?"

"You're in need of saving from yourself."

Simon walked back to his bed and began picking at the threads of the duvet cover. If he did this right, he could run past his father, run down the stairs, out the door and-.

"Benat," his father called.

Change of plans, Simon thought. His heart pounded in his chest, out of fear, anxiety and anger. He couldn't stay here; he wouldn't.

The taller man stood behind Gabriel, holding out two articles of clothing, one gray, and the other dark blue. They were probably thinner than the clothes Simon had on already, he supposed.

"Put them on, Simon."

Simon remained where he was, staring at his bare feet. It was one thing to wake up to a bare room, but to be given a 'uniform' seemed so…absurd.

"Either you put them on on your own, or I'll have Benat help you. Your choice."

Still pulling at the threads, Simon said, "I have choices now? Wow. I can't contain my excitement."

"Would you rather I dress you, then?"

Simon smiled. "What, am I two?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Simon watched as Gabriel grabbed the clothes from Benat then walk purposefully towards him. Typical, Simon thought, that his father would see this as an inconvenient chore. So, the least Simon could do was make it difficult, he supposed.

As soon as his father was in arm's reach, Simon swung his fist at him. His father fell easily enough, but now Simon was concerned about Benat. While he had the advantage of having more room to move in compared to the car, he had no idea on how to bring the 'Goliath' down.

Without thinking, Simon grabbed the duvet and flung it over Benat's head. He surprised the other man and himself in that he did get it over the man's head. Grabbing the corners, Simon pulled downward hard with all of his might, bringing the driver to the floor, just long enough for Simon to run past both men.

His feet pounding down the lacquered wood stairs, he tried to ignore his heart pounding in time in his ears. He could get to the door, he could get to the gate, he could get to the gap in the back, he could-.

Wish he was dead, he thought, as Benat slammed him into the heavy front doors, the handle pressed against his ribs, his wrist now twisted high above and behind his back. There was no way to defend himself from Benat's fist as they hammered into his ribs repeatedly.

Somewhere in the middle of the chaos, Simon thought he felt a needle prick him. The last thing he heard was his father yelling in his ear and his mother screaming.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Home: The Rules

Simon found himself back in his bedroom, staring up at the ceiling as he lay between the sheets on his bed. That was all he was allowed now. If he wasn't careful, he thought, he could be without a bed as well. He turned his head and saw a book on the floor where the nightstand used to be. Beside it was a small flashlight, not heavy enough to do any serious damage.

"I'm not going to read it," Simon said aloud as he folded his hands over his chest. "I'm not. I'm…" He fought back tears of pain and frustration as he struggled to regain a focus on things.

Simon made a list of things he did have: consciousness, contacts he could still possibly call once he got outside, credits he stashed away from his parents, sanity – somewhat, no broken bones – yet, no restraints, no full-time guard, and no one threatening to kill him or lock him away.

In terms of what he didn't have, Simon suspected that list would be much longer. At the top of that list was his sister. Everything else was secondary – problematic, but secondary.

He had no idea what time it was or what day it was. If his father had the syringe completely full, then whatever sedative used was probably doubled in dosage. Did his father have a different syringe, or did he use the same one his mother had used on him the last time? If so, did they at least have the sense enough to sterilize it?

He laughed out loud at that last thought. Here he was wondering how thorough his parents were in regards to something they had very little knowledge about. Thinking that thought through again, he was terrified of how much could and probably would go wrong if this kept up.

Simon felt trapped between a rock and a hard place. If he kept fighting, he'd be rendered useless either by drugs or beatings. On the other hand, if he did nothing, he might stand a chance of living. Of the two choices, which one served River best?

He decided on the foolish choice – fight. There was a possibility that he'd never make it outside of the gates. Knowing his father, the security codes were probably already changed. Given his luck, his father probably had control over more things than Simon could afford to lose.

Simon held his breath for a moment, listening to the sounds from downstairs. Nothing. Either his parents were sleeping, out, or in some other part of the house. He wondered how his parents would explain away his absence, his failure, let alone his arrest. Was it even a topic brought up? If so, was it during dinners or over martinis? Did his parents attend as many balls as before or would it be fewer now with him being home? How long would it last?

"Simon, are you awake?" He continued to stare at the ceiling.

He liked Lucinda immensely. She had spent much time with the Tam children as they grew up, had engaged them in conversation as if they mattered. Even if River, by age five, grew bored with the 'limited' topics that Lucinda could discuss, the maid never dismissed them.

He wondered how things stood now between the two of them. Was she there to act as spy? Silent supporter? Or was she just doing her job as she had always done?

"Come on now, you need your strength." She walked up to the bed, a chair in one hand, a bowl in the other. "There's no reason for you to get sick, you know. Then what happens?"

He wanted to know how she'd respond to the fact that he had several bruised ribs thanks to Benat.

"Your mother's worried about you," she said, stirring the bowl's contents.

He inhaled deeply, regretting it since he had his mind set on starving. He whispered, "She helped do this to me,"

Lucinda held a spoonful of porridge to his lips. "That isn't true."

"What's truth?" He took comfort in that it had to be the next day. Lucinda was particular about how things went on in the kitchen, altering plans only for a dinner party.

"You know the answer to that," she said, in the same way she always did when encouraging him during his lessons. She was kind, caring - things his parents were not.

Simon turned away from the spoon. "Do I? My parents think I'm crazy."

Lucinda clicked her tongue. "You are not crazy, Simon. Seriously stressed, there's no doubt about that. You are smart and sensitive. Stop struggling. Do that and you'll survive."

"Do that," Simon said, "and River might be dead."

"There's no need to be so dramatic. Be glad that you've got family looking after you. It could be worse. You could be on one of them rim planets struggling for the basics that the Alliance has so blessedly provided." Lucinda paused, pulling the bowl back with her. "Or worse, you could be among one of them dreaded 'independents' who wish for and relish in that kind of suffering for others."

Simon sat up at that remark. "You don't believe that, do you?"

"I don't have to tell you what I believe." She pointed at him with the bowl. "You're up now, so eat."

It was then that he noticed the change of clothes. Lifting up the top sheet, he grunted. "Huh. Gray tee-shirt and dark blue bottoms. Swell color choices."

Lucinda shook her head as if wondering why he dwelled on trivial things. "Hush now and eat."

He thought about resisting, but the growling of his stomach lodged its own protest. Hungrily, he complied. When he finished, Lucinda wished him a better day, then left. Simon noted that Lucinda locked the door when she left the room. Good. That meant she had a key, and if she had a key, he had a chance, and if he had a chance-.

Benat walked in.

"No chance," Simon said softly to himself.

"You don't know what your father is asking you to do yet," Benat said, misunderstanding.

"He's asking me? Wow, will wonders never cease." He remained sitting in bed.

Benat cracked the knuckles on both of his hands, forcing Simon to wince. "So, this is your choice?"

Simon shook his head. "Like you said, I don't know what he's asking me to do yet."

"Good answer. Get dressed." Off of Simon's questioning look, Benat opened the closet door to take down a pair of pressed slacks and a bleached white shirt from the lone hanger. "Your father's waiting for you."

Simon waited for Benat to turn around. When that didn't happen, Simon slowly turned his back to the driver and changed clothes. "I'm still sock-less," he said.

"That doesn't matter," Benat said, holding the door open.

For a moment, Simon imagined the two of them walking down the stairs, Simon in the lead, and Benat shoving him down. Simon quickly turned his back to the rail. "Aren't you coming?"

"Your father is waiting for you."

----

Simon stood at the doorway, his hands behind his back as Gabriel continued reading his book. Simon thought back to a time when his father would at least talk to him and River before dismissing them. "Father?"

"Yes, Simon?" Gabriel said without looking up from his reading.

Simon kept his eyes focused on the Oriental rug ahead of him, woven in its threads a universe of games that he and River would play together, to pass the time, to stay together, to have fun. They'd often sit on the floor and read to each other for hours on end, and then silently side by side when their father wanted peace.

"You sent for me," he said, wondering what the other man was expecting. If it was an apology, Simon wasn't ready for it. If it was to beg, it was too early for that, too.

Gabriel made a brief gesture, instructing Simon to sit down in the chair opposite him. After taking his time finishing his reading did the father finally acknowledge his son's presence. "These are the rules. Follow them and you should have a painless recovery. Choose not to, and I cannot tell you how often incidents like last night might reoccur. Understand?"

Simon bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the absurdity of the words while keeping back the fears that threatened to resurface. Simon nodded slowly.

"You are not to be outside of your room unless your mother or I have sent for you or granted permission. You are not going to attend any social gatherings, nor be heard during said gatherings, unless you want to find yourself locked in the basement. You are not to go outside of this house unless it is with Benat, or Lucinda or Park. You are not to question the requests Benat, Lucinda, your mother, or I make to you. You are not to speak unless spoken to, nor speak to anyone outside of this house. You will not use the source box or any other forms of communication – I have already blocked access to you. You are not to bring up this nonsense in any way, shape or form. And finally, you are not to cause your mother or me any more grief. Do I make myself clear?"

Simon thought about the rules and almost made a request to be taken back to the penitentiary. Instead, he looked back down at the carpet and said, "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now, your mother and I have errands to run, so I trust you'll behave yourself."

---------------------------------------

Simon felt the sun on his face, warming the coldness within. He heard birds chirping nearby; he inhaled the sweet lavender that calmed him for the moment; he tasted clean air so opposite and welcoming to the stale cell that reeked of his odor; he saw brightness behind closed eyes and prayed it was not all an illusion. A sound of glass tapping glass infected the nature around him.

"He looks so healthy when he sleeps," a voice said nearby. "The boy needs to be out here more often, I tell you."

"Yes," a woman's voice answered. "Shameful it happens only briefly. "Park, do try not to ruin the prized roses this time, please. And remember, Mrs. Tam needs some for a centerpiece for this evening."

"Yes, Lucinda."

Simon listened to a set of footsteps fade, then the opening and closing of a door. Park was here. Mother always had him here on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so there was a fifty-fifty chance Simon could guess what the day was. That depended on the fact that Park's schedule hadn't changed. And if it was still Fall, then it could be Wednesday. That changed probability slightly.

He listened to the rhythm of the clippers and falling limbs, remembering when he and River used to play hide-and-seek out here when their parents weren't home. Park always let them play games, acting as their protector. Lucinda allowed it, but never full-heartedly. And Benat was never about to offer an opinion one way or another.

Park, Simon learned, had intended to be an art teacher until his children grew ill, forcing him to approach the Tams for assistance. He had been their gardener ever since. Simon smiled at the memory of River peppering Park with questions about every blade of grass, every shrub, everything she could think of pertaining to botany. Simon would have joined her had he not acted the part of 'proper child' and kept to his studies.

Don't close your eyes to life, Lucinda had always said.

"Open your eyes."

Simon felt a bit coolness close to his face. He opened his eyes to see Park holding a glass of ice water in front of Simon. "You got to stay hydrated out here, Mr. Simon, unless you want to get worse."

"Thank you, Park," he said, sitting up to accept the offering. "There are some things I don't want to end, sometimes." Simon paused. "Well, maybe you dropping the 'mister' bit – I could gladly see that end," he said smiling.

Park nodded as he mopped his brow. "I understand what you mean about the weather today. Also understand that too much of dreams and nonsense get you nothing but emptiness, too. I'm not saying that you should already be back at work. It's just that, while the body and mind need rest, too much leads to a more permanent sleep. You're too young for that."

"Seem to be old enough for a midlife crisis," Simon said.

Park smiled. "Well, you do seem to rush into things earlier than others. With the exception of River, that is." Simon frowned at the mention of her name. Park noticed. "You two will be together again, don't worry. It might be longer than you'd like, that's all."

"There are times I fear I'll never see her again, Park. Then what do I do?" He heard Lucinda approach from behind, this time with a tray carrying lunch for the three of them.

"That's insanity talking now, Simon," she said as she sat down, distributing the midday meal for them all.

"Thank you," Simon said, taking a half a sandwich. "What day is it?"

Park and Lucinda exchanged glances before answering. "Don't worry yourself, Simon," she said. "You get the two of us for company."

"And if I dare say so," Park said, "we make pretty good company at that, don't we, Lucy."

Simon smiled. At times he wondered why he didn't have a father like Park – stern yet good-natured, guiding and sensitive. Lucinda, on the other hand, had always been the logical one, the one who believed in order and kept the house operating to perfection. In some respects, Simon saw himself in Lucinda. Nevertheless, it was Lucinda who showered him with love – never a shortage of hugs or kisses, unlike Mother.

Simon listened to the two of them, realizing that it had been a long time since he heard 'normal talk' that he drank it in greedily. Once his parents came home, he was sure that he would be sent back to his room, this blessed world closed off to him until who knew when. He had yet to determine how much time had passed since his father had gone over the rules.

"Storm's a coming," Park said as he got up to gather his tools. "Enough of those brew up and certain trails will be washed away, Mr. Simon," he said pointing towards the fence.

Lucinda's voice rose slightly in pitch. "Park! Don't go-!"

"Lucy, I'm just giving the young man a lesson in weather and erosion. See if he remembers any science outside of anatomy." Park gave him a wink Lucinda couldn't see.

Simon quietly cleared the table, hoping to slip away from the two of them before he ruined anything further. Part of him wondered if Park was referring to the hole in the gate by the hodgeberry bushes that grew on the other side of the house, away from his parents' bedroom window or the study.

Lucinda took the tray away from Simon and clicked her tongue. "Park, don't go putting ideas in this boy's head now, do you hear me? He's gone a whole-." She caught herself. "He's doing well now, no sense jeopardizing it."

"You know that your parents are hosting a dinner next week, Simon?" Park asked.

Simon said, "They won't let me attend."

Park seemed to already know that answer. "Well, who knows? It's possible your parents _might_ change their minds, right?"

"Shouldn't I be so lucky," Simon said doubting. He wondered if River was meeting and interesting people now; if she was still at the Academy or held against her will still in some forsaken Alliance Facility.

"Oh, please, Simon," Lucinda said. "At least pretend to want to attend. That nice Camberson girl will be there."

Park nodded, as if winning a minor contest. "See, Simon? You need to take your steps back into society, proper, and who better than Ms. Camberson?"


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note – This being a 'what if/alternative universe' of sorts, you might encounter familiar characters in not quite familiar modes. As for 'canon timeline compliance' don't expect it…

Chapter 4: Home- Social/Trouble

Simon sat silently at the table, aware of the curious glances by the older Cambersons and Crosettis as they noted his unusual appearance.

It was true that his hair grew longer, just slightly past the shoulders. His bangs – not something he cared for in the beginning, were enjoyed now because of the discomfort caused to their guests as it obscured half of his face. He knew he was paler, too. Thinner, as well, but the clothes covered that little fact, unless the Crosettis knew enough to see how much more the vest and shirt hung off of him now.

"I've not been feeling right," Simon said. "So, this time alone has been…It's led me to ask a number of questions. Some answers are more interesting than others." He paused for effect. "Or so my voices say." He felt the angry glare from his father as his mother quickly changed topics.

Simon exchanged a quick smile with Gael Camberson. She was about his age and still at university. The path her parents chose for her was something Gael learned to manipulate for her own purposes. It amazed Simon, how she could follow her parents' rules and yet boldly create her own and never get caught. He wished he had her gift.

"Mind if we go out into the garden, Father?" Gael asked already moving away from the table. Her father nodded. Simon's gave him a warning look. "It's all the better to dance by the moonlight, Mr. Tam. We promise not to ruin any of the flowers." With that, Gael took Simon's hand and led him outside.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Benat standing guard by the door. Returning his attention to his rescuer, he said, "Thanks. For getting me out of there, I mean."

She shook her head. "Nah, that's nothing. _I _needed to get out of there before I went crazy." Gael looked at Simon. "Sorry, wrong choice of words." She played with his hair a bit then smiled. "I knew your rebel side would come out eventually."

Simon smiled, too. "Well, what else am I going to do during my 'meditation' and such?" he joked. He sighed. "What is going on in the world, Gael? What am I missing?"

"Besides your mind?" she asked, pulling him toward the fence between their two houses. "Life, my dear Simon, life."

-----

He couldn't believe it. They had made it to a red-light tenement bar without anyone following them. Simon took it all in as he held Gael's hand; the young woman confidently leading the way. He chuckled at the name of the place -'The Moonshuttle.'

"Let's get a drink," she said.

Simon shook his head. "I've no I.D., Gael. And even if I did, I-."

She casually handed him a card. "Not only do you have a card, you have an appointment, after a round or two, that is."

He looked at her confused. "Gael... you lost me."

She lit a cigarette. "Someone's been looking for you and I was looking for an excuse to get out, so…" She dragged him into the bar where they found a corner table to sit in.

They spent the time talking, joking and complaining about their parents, among other things. It felt good for Simon, to be around someone his own age, who believed in him, even half-heartedly, about his quest. Whether it was the rebellious side of Gael to believe or not, he didn't care. Just having someone tell him he wasn't crazy was refreshing for him.

Gael kept looking at her watch as they drank. It was almost midnight. "What is it?" he asked as she paid for the last of the drinks.

"I've arranged a meeting for you, to let you pick up where you left off, see. They'll meet you out back, in the alley. I'm going to go to the club down the road, so…" She kissed him on the cheek. "I hope this helps you, Simon."

--

Simon cautiously entered the alley, wary of every sound he heard. The rendezvous point in the Blackout Zone didn't have this much sordid activity, and it unsettled him, unless it was just the lateness of the hour that got to him. Whether or not he got caught this time was secondary to the fear of possibly being murdered, or worse, the contact not showing up at all. His respect for Gael's bravery was being re-evaluated for possible madness.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Gael wave goodbye before she hurriedly went toward the part of town she was destined to go – a partying district he was surprised to learn she had gone to before. Then again, he hadn't known this district existed in the first place. If he had, he probably wouldn't have been anywhere near it, unless meetings required it...or if Gael encouraged him.

On the other side of the dimly lit alley, a cat screeched as a garbage can fell. The smell of alcohol, drugs, and other…things began to cling to Simon with each step he took toward the lone working, flickering light. He resisted the urge to check the time again, not wanting to add to his nervousness.

A figure emerged from a distance, something swaying in time with the steps. Simon tensed almost immediately as he pressed his back into the shadows. Previous meetings, two came out to meet him – one who passed on the intelligence, the other to stand watch. They never drew attention to themselves by carrying…Simon squinted and saw this man was swinging a metal pipe.

He might have a chance bolting for the street to catch up with Gael or duck back into the bar. Simon no sooner took two steps out from his hiding space before two men blocked his path. Simon crouched slightly, hands positioned to hit and defend. Weighing his options, he already made up his mind about two possible targets – the throat or the knees. He only had to see which one would make their move first.

The shorter of the two came at him first. Simon blocked the forward punch from the outside, cursing himself slightly for missing the brass knuckles, then promptly kicked the man square in the knee cap with full force as his elbow went to the attacker's throat. As soon as the second attacker – slightly taller and definitely heavier – made his move, Simon threw the first man towards him, buying enough time to grab the second attacker's face, digging fingers into his eyes as his palm pressed the nose flat, and forcing him to the ground. As before, Simon put his full weight behind the kick delivered to the knee cap.

If he ran now, he stood a chance. But he hadn't expected the other man, who must have continued his walk, to grab Simon from behind. Simon reached up to loosen the grip of the arm around his neck, while kicking at the other man who approached him from the front.

Struggling free just enough to look over his shoulder, Simon saw the man was of average height, average built, dark hair giving his unmarked face a scruffy look. What caught Simon's eye was the brightness of the man's exceptionally white teeth framed by a dark mustache and short beard. The cold blue eyes almost dared Simon to stare at the man's large forehead.

Turning his chin down in an attempt to free himself from the chokehold, Simon felt the calloused hand reach further around Simon's neck, tightening the grip, short fingernails scratching him.

"Where do you think you're going?" the man said in his ear, the short beard scratching Simon's cheek.

Something was thrown to the attacker. "Jayne, cover his face first!"

Simon struggled, careful not to look at his captor, mentally wrestling with the idea that this brute had a girl's name. He felt a cord tied around his neck to keep the canvas bag in place. Good news, he thought, was that he was still breathing. A fist to the stomach changed that, driving Simon to the ground coughing.

He waved his hands about in a futile effort to stop the booted foot from repeatedly kicking him.

"Got 'em!" Jayne said grabbing both of Simon's wrists with one hand. Another piece of rope wrapped around his wrists crossed over like an 'x', palms facing up. Simon felt the rope cutting into his skin. Knowing his luck, if he survived this, most people in his parents' circle would mistake the marks as something sordid and selfish.

"Get 'im good, Jayne!" one man called out.

"Yeah, it's up to you, now," the other joined in.

On the one hand, Simon did successfully reduce the number of assailants. On the other, as he tried to brace himself against the unknown, this Jayne fellow probably had more strength than the other two combined. The beating was precise and painful as an alternating pattern of fists and boots delivered bruises all over his body, with the exception of his head and hands. Simon was certain that not an inch of him remained unmarked, with the exception of his feet.

"Not done, yet, boy," Jayne said, laying Simon flat on the ground on his stomach, hands wrapped around Simon's wrists. He felt his arms stretched forward, close to the ground. Simon felt a rock in the pit of his stomach, uncertain what to expect, dreading it all the same. Something like a concrete block was placed just below his elbows. That was followed by a heavy booted foot slamming down on his forearm, breaking the bones.

"Call that payback," Jayne said. "Of course, if they was fair, they'd have gone for your knee caps, instead."

"Someone's comin'!" one of them yelled. Simon felt Jayne let him go as the other two grunted in their attempt to walk or run. So long as they didn't return to him, Simon could care less which way they went.

He listened a moment longer, a grunt, then a whine followed by a 'huff' as it sounded as if someone was being picked up or left behind. Footsteps came up beside him just as a car pulled up towards him – Simon almost guessing the type of car based on the engine – a game he never did well with, that was River's specialty.

"Stay with us, son," someone said as they untied the cord around Simon's neck. He blinked against the still flickering light behind his liberator once the sack was removed. He watched as his hands were freed, wondering how often Good Samaritans wandered alleyways. Before Simon could focus on this man's features, a familiar voice called out behind him.

"Simon! What in the world are you doing out here?!"

Simon forced himself to breathe in and out as slowly as he could, determined not to laugh out loud at the fact that his former tormenter was now his savior. How Benat knew where to look for Simon, he didn't know, and at this point didn't care. Between these two men and the high probability of being taken to hospital meant there was little chance of having to go home, back to his prison.

He was wrong.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Home: Fallout/Knocked Down

Simon closed his eyes as he lay in the backseat, listening to the two men arguing outside. Neither man raised their voices angrily, but the frustration was there none the less. Benat stood by his case.

"The boy can't go to hospital! No valid identity card, what his father's put in place, and-."

The other man, whom Simon still couldn't see clearly, said calmly, "Let me try. Why wouldn't they-?"

"Do you want to visit the penitentiary? If the boy does get admitted, you'll be arrested for-."

"Surely, the father hasn't taken it-."

"He has! I need to get Simon back there before things get worse." The other man started to say something, but Benat continued, "Take this. Believe me; Gabriel Tam can make things worse, no matter who you think you are. I need to take him home – now!"

Benat returned to the car, slamming the door harder than usual. "Are you trying to kill yourself, Mr. Simon?" the driver asked. "If not, you're giving your father good reason to …." His voice trailed off.

"Benat, who were you talking to?" Simon knew he was chancing it, that Benat would say nothing. He was mistaken.

"No one," he answered. "Rest while you can. I'm sure your father will lock you in the basement for this."

--

Simon remembered being carried into the house as Benat said, "Sir, in all honesty, I believe-."

"I don't pay you for beliefs, Benat. Take him to his room. I'll send for a doctor I can trust."

That was it, nothing more. Simon heard his mother sob, then silence. He fell to the bed, Benat taking care to tuck him in after removing his shoes. He hadn't felt this much pain since he read the first letter from River. He cried at that thought, causing more aches to wrack his body.

"Shh, shh, Simon," Lucinda said in a rushed voice. "We'll mend you proper, I swear."

He sensed Benat's presence still. "I'll get the med kit," the other man said, his voice sounding slightly different from before. Simon kept his eyes closed as Lucinda, and then Benat did the best they could to tend to his numerous wounds until the doctor arrived.

"These are the prescriptions," the disembodied voice said. "Change the bandages regularly. He may or may not get full use of his hands again – depends on the extent of the nerve damage." There was a clicking of the tongue in disapproval. "You might want to consider him a lost case, Gabriel. A boy who willingly seeks out such-."

"You won't file a report, right?" Gabriel asked.

The doctor continued, "Of course not. Maybe this mandatory bed-rest will force him to focus on the state of things. If not…" The two men continued talking, their voices growing distant as they left the room.

Simon felt a soft hand against his face. He smiled inwardly, thinking it was Lucinda. Opening them, he was surprised that it was his mother.

"How could you do this?" she said withdrawing her hand now that he was alert. "How could you drag poor Gael into your scheme and…and…try to kill yourself? What do you hope to accomplish? Do you want your father or me to die of grief? Are you that selfish to take what was supposed to be a wonderful evening and ruin it like this? I'm just glad the others left before news of this came back."

He looked her in the eye, not surprised at where her priorities lay. Simon didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. She injected him with something – that didn't surprise him, either. She slapped him across the face before leaving.

Gabriel returned, locking the door behind him.

"Can't go far, Father," Simon said, looking at the ceiling again. He noticed so many patterns the shadows made and wondered what River would have had to say about that – the invisible paintings created on a blank wall that had more character and warmth than his parents right now.

"What the hell were you thinking? Did you think I wouldn't know about your little rendezvous? Did you think…? Did you think at all?'

Simon smiled. "I think not."

Gabriel looked down at him and backhanded him on the same side his mother had slapped him earlier. "You will pay for this, Simon. I promise you."

-----------

Simon woke to loud voices downstairs. Lucinda's was pleading, his father's was angry and the other was … He thought he recognized it from the other night.

"I just wanted to come by and see if the boy was all right, that's all," the man said. "After all, he did save my life and-."

"And what kind of stranger goes into an alley, never mind a red-light tenement area?" Gabriel said.

"A shepherd goes to where he finds the needy," the other man said. "May I at least see the young man and thank him?"

Lucinda's voice was high-pitched. "He needs his rest! The last thing he needs is someone-."

"Lucinda, leave us."

Simon tried to listen to the two men, but heard nothing outside of a door slamming. Soon, he heard stomping up the stairs, a key turn and saw the door open. "Father?" he asked, apprehensive about the expression on his father's face now.

"What did I tell you about talking to strangers? And to a shepherd of all people! Don't get your hopes up. There's not a prayer's chance that someone like him would or could rescue someone like you." With that, Gabriel took out a syringe and Simon's heart filled with dread.

-------------------

Simon opened his eyes only to see no change in the lighting. The space around him was smaller than he liked, preventing him from stretching out completely. He sighed. "The basement just as he promised."

He took minor comfort that there were blankets and a pillow. No working light, he discovered. So, he was in the dark in more ways than one –what else was new?

Something was being shoved aside, he heard. A key turned in the lock and the closet door opened. It was Lucinda, with a couple of pills in one hand and a cup of broth in the other. "Lucinda?" he said relief in his voice.

She said nothing in response as she fed him the pills. He chewed them, regretting it instantly, then opened his mouth to offer proof that they were gone. Once he had, she looked down and away from his as she waited for him to empty the cup. Simon reached out for her, but she closed the door on him.

The routine continued like that for who knew how long. Simon had to be creative to take care of 'other needs' and wished he had his room back. At least there, he could breathe.

The only changes in the routine came when Mother came by to inject him with something. It was after one such visit that Simon found himself plunging into darkening madness. He cried out, screaming for anyone to help him until his voice grew hoarse.

---------------------

"Be quick," Benat said. "He'll be back soon."

"I thank you again," the other man said softly. That was all Simon heard as he surmised that he was back in his bed, in his room, in less pain than he was a while ago – whatever 'a while' was.

He would have sworn he heard another set of feet shuffling about the room, maybe Lucinda's, but he couldn't tell. He questioned his hearing among several other things. Simon didn't know if the doctor came by for a follow-up checkup or not. He didn't know if he still had bandages on or if he did in the first place.

Simon stirred fitfully, hyperventilating despite himself.

"Relax, son," the other man's voice whispered in his ear. "We'll get you out of here one way or another."

He tried to open his eyes to see this person promising hope. Instead, he opened his eyes only to find a hand covering them, the voice again whispering him to relax, to rest. Simon gave in. At some point, the voices were gone.

---------------------------------------

Simon took inventory of recent events as best as he could recall them. He was still sore, still healing, and as much as he dreaded it, still dependent on the prescription provided. And now, he was sitting out in the garden with Park and Lucinda working nearby. Unlike previous times, the two of them worked in silence, not saying anything to him or each other. Simon wanted to cry. What he'd give for one of Park's jokes or Lucinda's 'lectures' right now.

Even Benat seemed to be more laconic than usual. He had taken over Lucinda's chores in bringing up the meals to him, of releasing the restraints that kept Simon in bed. The young man was tempted to shout at Benat to get_ any _kind of response.

His parents….his parents were worse, Simon thought. They said more with their eyes than they did with their voices. Again, it was tempting to yell at them, to get anything, aside from a needle, from them. Instead, the only voice he heard was his own and that was when he cried.

---

It was Simon's first meal with his parents since the dinner party. There wasn't much in the way of conversation until meal's end.

"What are we going to tell the Friedlichs about attending their banquet, dear?" Regan asked. "Next w-."

"Tell them we'll be there," Gabriel said, cutting her off. Regan smiled, relieved.

Simon chanced it. "Mother, may I….?"

"Perhaps, sweetheart" she said dismissively.

Simon beamed. Two words. Two words more than he could remember, even if he knew in his heart of hearts there wasn't a bit of sincerity in them. "Father?"

"We'll see," Gabriel said coldly. "Go to your room."

Simon recognized the look his father gave to his mother and had no intention of being there any longer than he had to be. He did what he was told, relishing the few words he elicited. Simon paused at the top of the stairs and smiled. He said softly, "You'd think I was Cinderella or something." The thought brought out a chuckle, which in turn prevented Simon from hearing his father's silent approach.

"You think you've won something, son?"

Simon turned quickly, too quickly perhaps as he felt a wave of dizziness come over him. "I- Father….I'm-. Please? I won't say anything, not a word. I promise." Gabriel stared at him silently.

"I don't know how you expect me to get better if all you're going to do is lock me away or strap me to a bed. Heaven forbid someone doing something like that to River." He knew the moment he said it, the moment he slipped, he'd pay for it.

Gabriel lashed out so suddenly that Simon didn't have a chance to react.

Simon fell down the lacquered wood stairs, amazed that he didn't break his neck – or at least he hoped not. Going through the motions of a self-check as best he could, he confirmed his one hope. That was all he had time for as he heard his mother scream from the other room and saw out of the corner of his eye, Lucinda and Benat running towards him. Then his world turned black.

--------------

Maybe they were right. Maybe he was crazy after all.

Simon was relieved to not find himself in the basement again, but regretted the restraints that made it all the easier for his mother to misuse the needle. He vaguely recalled the doctor's visit as Gabriel explained how the boy 'fell' down the stairs. Simon vaguely recalled Benat warning him to stay silent and still if he wanted to live, had vaguely imagined voices that weren't there or footsteps of ghosts who were impotent.

He sighed. If River was here, she'd have called him a 'boob' or something. Simon smiled at that thought. Fine, if it was silence that guaranteed safety, well then he'd do just that. Besides, if he could conjure up the memory of River in his mind, he wasn't entirely alone.

Gael had snuck into his room once, while his parents were entertaining. How she picked the lock was beyond him. She seemed aware of the straps that held him down covered by the blankets that weighed him down. Gael started to loosen one of them then stopped.

"My parents are trying to persuade your folks into letting you go to the Friedlichs. I told them how I'd be a 'proper date of a spy' for you." She chuckled at the little joke. "I need you there. You need to be there, Simon. Someone will be waiting for you."

Simon heard footsteps approaching. Gael quickly put the blanket in place and hid in the closet just as the door opened. Instead of hostility, Simon thought he sensed…

"Ms. Gael," Lucinda's voice whispered.

The door closed again, leaving Simon to silence, shadows and tormented sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Home/Elsewhere: 

It was the first time he had been allowed in the study since the rules were discussed. Now, Simon stood perfectly still before his father, which in and of itself was amazing, he thought as he ignored the pain going up and down his limbs.

While he knew it wasn't a perfect recovery, the fact that he could still move was reassuring. The side effects from the injected drugs plagued him still, but he was improving his ability to 'cheek' the other meds and hide them elsewhere when he had the chance.

Now he had to answer for a communication his father received from Mr. Camberson about Gael. Simon sighed inwardly. He figured out how Gael kept out of trouble – by proximity, anyone else nearby was the automatic guilty one.

"Are you trying to destroy two families now? Grieving your mother and I wasn't enough?"

Simon didn't answer, remembering Benat's words about silence.

"Answer me!" Gabriel shouted as he backhanded Simon.

Simon noted the blood running down his cheek. That didn't happen before, he thought. He stole a glance at his father's ring hand and noticed he had altered it. Simon stood still as the hand swung again, cutting his cheek in the same spot.

Simon wanted to strike back, wanted to take all the anger he had pent up for the Academy and lash out at the parent who made it possible. Instead, he tightened his grip on his own wrists behind his back. His bones were finally healing, or so he liked to think. The last thing he wanted to do was compound the problem.

With every blow, Simon came up with a reason why he was doing this for River. With every blow, Simon reminded himself of the few positives he had left once, not if, he ever escaped from here. With every blow, he imagined it was more poison being purged from his system.

In the end, Simon lost count of the blows.

----------

Simon Tam never would have thought he would be thankful for restraints, slightly loosened now that his parents were gone. Whatever cocktail his parents mixed up for him had sent his body through numerous spasms. Granted, it didn't do his recovering injuries any favors, but at least he didn't fall out of bed.

Lucinda had returned to caring for him, applying a damp cloth to his forehead before checking the bandage on his cheek. Even as she said nothing, he felt her concern for him. He looked up at her and noticed she was crying. His heart broke. Of anyone in this house he never wanted to cause pain, River foremost, it would be Lucinda. He wanted to wipe away the tears but he couldn't.

She leaned forward, mouthed the word, 'Soon' before she kissed him lightly on the forehead then left.

---

Benat escorted him out to the garden and motioning him to down in a reclining chair. Simon wanted to walk around at least determine whether a bone probably didn't properly mend. Benat wouldn't hear of it. As soon as Simon was settled in, a blanket tucked securely on either side of him, Benat left him there as Park worked.

Simon tried to call out to the gardener, his friend, but all he managed was a croak. He felt the tears of frustration roll down his face as he shook his head angrily. He was falling apart and there was nothing he could do about it.

Park came over to him, a quick glance into the house to see the goings on, and then back to him. "Soon," he mouthed, gently tapping Simon's cheek. He rose as Benat stepped out to motion the other man to come in.

Simon closed his eyes, enjoying the sounds he had so dearly missed. The only thing to make this moment perfect would have been River's laughter. He strained to hear what the others were saying, but it was as quiet in there as it was out here. He resigned himself to the fatigue that pulled at him.

-----------

Simon was glad that his parents had finally left for the Friedlichs' banquet. He tasted the dried blood on the corner of his mouth, his penalty for saying the word, 'please.' Or was that his mother? He couldn't remember. The anger and hostility he felt the last time his father and the doctor were in the room almost made Simon sicker than he felt already. The delirium drowned him to the point that he could almost convince himself it was all a horrible dream.

He gave a weak laugh as he heard voices downstairs. That was a new trick, relocating the voices that he heard, moving them out of his head at least. This one sounded angelic yet authoritative. She was someone of prestige, either of Academy or Guild training. That was something different, he thought.

The Good Samaritan's voice was there, too. He could let this fantasy collide with the dulled reality, he thought, as he lost his grip on both – stillness and darkness enveloping him once again.

---------------------------------------

Simon felt a warm hand upon his forehead briefly. He felt as if he was flying, but since he had never really flown anywhere, he wasn't sure if that was the right analogy. He wanted to open his eyes and take in his surroundings, but he knew that was an absurd thing to do with a dream.

"Are you sure about that, about Alliance hospitals, I mean?" the angel's voice said.

"He was adamant," answered the Samaritan close by. "Were you able to get the-?"

"Yes, but it was interesting dealing with the parents. I've met some cruel people during my line of work, but those two…" She paused. "It's any wonder the poor boy's driven mad."

"In part," the Samaritan said, closer to Simon now. "You're not dreaming, son. You're safe, just as I promised. Sorry it took longer than I wanted. Had to put some things in order first before… Shh. You just rest. It's going to be a painful recovery time for you."

------

Simon didn't know how long he slept or where he was. When he did finally open his eyes, he thought for certain that he was hallucinating. For one thing, an angel was in front of him.

"Hello there," the exotic woman said, her ivory face framed by long curly hair, some of it held back by a silk-covered clip. Her smile was warm, just like everything else about her. "It's any wonder why your mother insisted on getting you a Companion for a date," she said. "A handsome, intelligent gentleman like you should have had no problems on your own."

"Crazy," he whispered, not wanting to break the spell. He felt different, but couldn't pinpoint how or why. He rang his fingers through his hair….that was the first difference he noticed.

"I took the liberty of cleaning you up. You look much better with your hair shorter. I didn't want to go too short unless you want me to." She held up a mirror for him to inspect. He felt human again, civilized.

His voice still a whisper, he asked, "Who..?"

"I'm Inara Serra," she said. "Your mother called for a Companion and I answered. Granted, it was interesting trying to find one's date at a dance that one wasn't at." She smiled. "So, let the record reflect that there is at least one dance owed."

Simon smiled weakly. "Where…?"

Inara made a sweeping motion with her arm showcasing her possession. "You're in my shuttle. We're on our way to a nearby planet where we'll rendezvous with the ship I travel with – Serenity."

Simon nodded taking it all in. "The Samaritan…?"

Inara furrowed her brow before she chuckled. "Ah, Shepherd Book. I'll get him for you." She caressed him briefly then left.

A tall man, dark of complexion and a complete head of white hair knelt down beside him "How are you feeling, son?"

"Thank you," Simon said. "For…"

Book waved him off. "You saved me, remember. So, you're feeling fine? Hungry, thirsty?"

Simon thought about that for a moment. "Yes?" he said more as a question.

Book smiled. "Understandable. Lucinda packed a basket."

"Are…?" Simon didn't know what question he wanted to ask or how he'd frame it. If he did make it off planet, what would happen to Lucinda, Park, or even Benat? Suddenly, the mouthed words and their double meanings made sense. He turned his head away, fearing the answer he knew to be true.

"Benat mentioned plans about them relocating to another planet, Simon. They'll be fine."

Simon turned to look at him, wondering if it was possible for shepherds to lie. But, the older man believed it, so Simon did, too. For the first time in a long while, he felt safe. After sharing a small meal with the shepherd, Simon did as best as he could to get to the cockpit.

"Have a seat," Inara said invitingly. "We've actually a couple days' wait until we meet up with the others – assuming nothing's gone wrong with Mal's plan…again."

Simon made a face. "Bad?"

Inara's laugh was musical, loving and….he couldn't find the other word yet. "That's putting it mildly," she said. "That is certainly putting it mildly." She focused on flying the shuttle.

He didn't know what to make of that. Right now, he was in total awe of the wonders he saw outside. "You'd love this, River," he whispered to himself. Unbidden, he felt himself get choked up. He wanted to flee, to not be embarrassed in front of these two. Instead, he felt a firm hand on his shoulder offering comfort. He looked up and saw Book smiling down at him, similar to the smiles Park gave… Simon gave a short, quick nod then returned his attention to the stars, ignoring the tears that streamed down his face.

----------

Simon struggled to hold on to those images as the convulsions wracked him again. First Inara, then Book took turns holding him still as best as they could on the large bed. At some point, Simon wore himself out, certain he fell asleep in Inara's arms. Book wasn't kidding about the painful recovery.

Simon wanted to stay at this oasis a bit longer. He didn't think it was possible to see so much unadulterated beauty outside of Osiris. Then again, he hadn't realized how many dark corners had existed there, either. He insisted on staying outside to see the sunset and did his best to rise early enough to see the sun's return.

The second morning, Simon took a seat, painfully, beside Book, neither man saying anything. The lack of immediate threats, imaginary or otherwise, was comforting to Simon. Here, he was able to think about his sister, clearer than before, and try to return to plotting her rescue. He closed his eyes trying his best to recall what crumbs from the trail he had before. He didn't know how long he basked in the sun before Book led him back inside.

"In time," Book said softly as they joined Inara for morning tea.

"Do you mind a meal on the go?" she asked. "Wash hailed and they should be here soon."

Simon studied the other woman, wondering if she was aware of what she had said. He was thankful to how forgiving both of them were as he chose to drink in their conversations while adding very little to them. He didn't trust himself, not just yet. His body was finally answering some of his simple commands. His ability to speak logically however…

Book seemed to know what Simon wanted or needed without the younger man having to say a word. Inara had the same gift and training. He could only hope that he'd be able to get on with this crew Inara had mentioned. He would find out soon enough.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Serenity: shuttle bay

"Welcome back, Inara!"

The companion embraced her greeter before turning the attention to her fellow travelers. "Kaylee, I want to introduce you to Shepherd Derrial Book and Simon."

"Pleased to meet you," Book said extending a hand to Kaylee.

Simon gave a slight nod, hoping he wasn't blushing. Even in overalls and smudges of grease on her face, he thought she was beautiful.

He wanted to follow Inara, Book and Kaylee for the rest of the walk, but he felt tired by the time they reached the steps on the catwalk. He lowered himself slowly, leaning against the rail, impressed with how far he made it and disappointed with how much further he had to go.

Book noticed he had stopped. "Simon, maybe we should-."

"I'll stay with him," Kaylee offered eagerly. "Inara, Cap'n wants to hear the latest, I'm sure. So…go. Go on and Simon and I will sit a spell."

Inara looked at her cautiously; Book smiled approvingly and Simon felt ashamed. But it was decided and he found himself alone with her.

The first thing Simon felt was her exhilarating joy. He suspected that her outlook on life was perpetually bright. He hungered for that, and felt guilty in holding her back. "Kaylee…" Even her name sounded like a chime to his ears. "May I ask…?"

"Ship's mechanic," she said. "I could show you the engine room, when you're up to it, that is." Kaylee leaned against him, unafraid. "You don' strike me like one who be needin' a companion."

Simon chuckled. That was twice he heard that now, he thought. "Thanks?"

She turned and smiled at him. "You look so tired. Maybe you ought lay down proper and rest."

He knew he needed it, but didn't want to. "I'll be fine. Give me a …, if that's all right?"

A couple of voices came up the stairs from below. "But honey, I'm telling you that-."

"I don't care how you think you're going to sell it, it isn't going to work."

"But, sweetheart-," he said as he reached the top of the steps.

"Do you want to sleep in the common area?" the woman said with her back to Simon and Kaylee.

The first thing that struck Simon was the statuesque height of the woman. Perfect posture, no-nonsense tone and… Taking in the rest of her outfit, he noticed she was wearing military boots. He wondered…

"Um, Zoë, honey, we've company," the man said pointing to Simon. "Hi. I'm Wash." He walked past Zoë and leaned forward to firmly shake Simon's hand. To Kaylee, he said, "You didn't tell us you ordered up yourself a boyfriend. I'm impressed."

Simon smiled at Wash, Inara's comment earlier making sense to him now. Before he could introduce himself, Zoë spoke up. "You're here with Inara?" He nodded. "I'll prepare the Captain."

Kaylee smiled, "Oh, she and Shepherd's doing that all ready. Simon and I are just-."

"Nice to meet you, Simon," Wash said, as if to properly finish the formalities. "This is Zoë, the Warrior Woman of a peacemaker, I proudly call my wife. Um, you've already been claimed by Kaylee, I see, so that leaves you with our captain and our…public relations man."

Zoë shot her husband a look that didn't go unnoticed by Simon. It was a warning, but given lovingly in a way. He never saw that between his parents. She turned her attention back to Simon and said, "If you need anything don't hesitate to ask, all right? None of us are mind readers and the only foolish thing around here is _not_ asking. _Dong ma?_"

Again, Simon nodded. He hadn't heard Chinese Mandarin so much since his father stopped speaking it around him. Simon found it refreshing to hear even that small bit.

Wash stepped back to his wife, taking her arm in his. "Well, Simon, you should go take a nap, given how you've tuckered yourself out with all that talkin'. Dinner's in a few and Zoë's cooking. So, you may want to fill up on some prot-."

Zoë elbowed him in the stomach. "Kaylee, dear, remind me that I don't want a patient to deal with later, all right?" Kaylee laughed as Zoë's mock anger dissolved into a smile. Zoë gestured to her cheek while giving a nod in Simon's direction. "Need me to look at that for you?"

Simon brought a hand up to the bandage, not soaked through with blood - a good sign; he shook his head.

The couple disappeared down the walkway where Book and Inara had gone down earlier. Simon looked in that direction for a while, loving them instantly. He'd give anything to call this group 'family' and give even more to bring River to this 'home.'

He stood up, with Kaylee's help, and walked toward the other shuttle, if anything to have something to hold on to along the way.

"That's more storage than anythin' really," Kaylee said holding his hand. "But, if that's where you want to begin the tour…" She opened the door and shook her head as she pointed about the mess. "See? Ain't like we ever make use of it, so it's fine for now, considerin'. Although…."

Simon leaned against the doorway and listened to Kaylee go on about shuttles and other craft; which ones were inferior to the Firefly and which ones were just too 'rich' and useless. When she finished, she took Simon by the arm and turned him around. "How about showing the rest of the ship that matters?"

As soon as he turned around, Simon felt his head spin. Despite his grasp for control, Simon collapsed onto the deck.

-------------------------

(Bridge)

"Let me get this straight," Malcolm Reynolds said, arms folded over his chest as he paced about, ready to make a point, "not only did you bring two folks on my ship without my permission-."

"For your information, I brought them because it's my business why I brought-."

"Without _my_ permission," he repeated, "and now you're tellin' me we're making a detour for one of 'em because….why again?"

Shepherd Book stepped forward. "If I may, it's-."

"No, you may not." Mal said. "I said nothing about taking on paying passengers."

Wash heard the last part. "Paying passengers? Mal, we're expanding to take on passengers? Oh joy!"

Zoë didn't share his sentiment. "Sir, we haven't even cleaned out the passenger cabins. I'm sorry," she said to Book, "you are…?"

"Shepherd Book," he said, shaking first Zoë's then Wash's hand. "Ms. Serra-."

"Inara," the Companion corrected.

"Inara," continued Book, "was requesting that Simon and I might be given passage to a medical moon?"

Wash smiled. "It's not so much a moon as it is a station near a moon...sometimes. Zhi Ismat doesn't like to stay in one place too long should the Alliance come looking for him." To Mal he said, "I can hail him on the Cortex. Doubt we're too far and-."

"No one's hailin' nobody. Inara, you are _not _telling me where we're going. As for you, preacher, I'm surprised that you'd take up traveling with a wh-."

"Wouldn't advice that, Sir," Zoë said interrupting him. "Shepherd, aside from that nasty cut on the cheek, the boy looked fine to me, and you-."

Book brought his hands together in front of him and said, "Looks can be deceiving."

Wash sat down at his station, pulling up a wave. "It wouldn't hurt, Mal. Besides, we might be able to stock up on some medical supplies or something. Zhi's good at spotting us some credit."

"We're not going. _Dong le ma?_"

"You're the one who doesn't understand, Mal," Inara said turning to go back to her shuttle. From the Bridge, the group heard Kaylee scream.

-------

"What the hell happened?!" Mal said as he knelt down by the fallen passenger. Blood seeped through the bandage and now spread slowly along the boy's face.

Kaylee's hands were shaking as she held on to Simon's. "Don't know, Cap'n. All we were doing was turning 'round to walk this way and he fell; hit his face on the rail. That's all."

"Jayne, is that true?" Mal asked, thankful the boy still had a pulse.

The mercenary shrugged his shoulders. "How should I know? All I did was come by and-."

"Right," Mal said, picking the boy up now. "Zoë, tell Wash to hail Zhi; Kaylee, prep the infirmary. I'll-."

"Mal, let him rest in the shuttle and-," Inara suggested

He descended down the stairs. "Can't examine him from there, Inara." He turned to look at her as he lay Simon on the examination table. "Get Zoë. Kaylee, I need you to get back to work."

Mal took in the Shepherd's appearance. "You don't seem surprised by this."

"He's having a rough time," Book said, keeping a hand on Simon's shoulder. "Inara said you could get us to a facility faster than her shuttle."

Mal began the diagnostics as best he could. Was nothing else visibly wrong with the boy - except for how thin he was, and taking a beating or two recently. The cheek, Mal could stitch up easily enough. He was thankful when Zoë showed up. "What do we got?" he asked, focusing on the stitching.

"Heart rate's going a mite fast for him, Captain. Plenty of bones broke here, too. Want me to draw some blood?"

"Hasn't he lost enough?" Book protested.

Zoë ignored him as she prepared a hypo. "Need to test what's in his system, Preacher."

"Good luck getting a clear reading, then," he said.

Mal looked up at him, annoyed at the unshared information. Finishing up the suturing, he said, "This ain't my best work, but it'll fair better than piling bandage after bandage on him. "Care to tell me what happened?"

"Not yet," Book said, not backing down from Mal's challenge.

"Make you a deal," Mal said, "you tell me the story and I'll offer you and him room and board."

Book held his ground. "You offer Simon and me room and board, and maybe then I'll tell you the story."

Zoë shook her head during the exchange. She knew the moment she saw the boy that he'd be staying with them. As for the Preacher, if he was as protective of the boy as she was of her crewmates…. "Captain, it would be best to let them stay on board."

Mal gave her a look as he washed up. "First Inara, now you? I s'pose Kaylee will be givin' me the next order, right?"

"More than likely, Sir. I'll even help Preacher pack." It wasn't a suggestion or a rhetorical offer and he knew it.

"Fine." With that, he went to the bridge to see how long it would take to get to Zhi Ismat.

Once the captain left, Zoë said, "I'm sure you'll fill me in on the essentials while we transfer, right, Shepherd?"

------------

Zhi Ismat looked over the patient on his table. "_Tyen shiao duh ._In the name of all that's sacred…. Mal, what did you bring me?"

"So, it's worse than we found?" he said, arms folded over his chest waiting. He was losing patience and he was right here; while the Shepherd, on the other hand, was under Jayne's watchful eye.

"Well, it's any wonder the boy's alive and not completely paralyzed, but…yeah, this is at least a year's worth of torture I'm looking at. And the way these arms are," Zhi pulled up a video image, "someone stomped on them hard. Some nerve damage, but it looks like he beat most of the odds."

"What'll it take to heal him up properly?" Zoë asked.

Zhi shook his head. "Can't bring him to one-hundred percent, but darn near close. I'm going to have to redo your stitchin' job here, too, try to minimize the scar a bit more. If I didn't know any better, I'd say his skin was torn open by a jagged piece of metal, like someone backhanded him."

Mal wanted the rest of the story. "What else is there?"

"He's been detoxifying himself, it looks like. Barely out of the woods, so to speak, but this…" He pulled up another image, "If I didn't know better, I'd say that bit of damage was done from JJF use."' Off of Mal's look, Zhi said, "Popular drop or gas of choice for some rebellious types. Sometimes you hear it called-."

"Flare or Jumpin' Jay?" Zoë offered. "How would one find that on a Core planet?"

Zhi waved a finger at Zoë as he pulled up yet another screen. "If there was a collection of concoctions given, then maybe the wrong one would be the right one – I mean, closely resemble JJF and its effects."

"Meaning what?" Zoë asked.

"Tremors for life. They can be controlled, to a certain extent, but there's no complete elimination of them. Mind if I keep him here a spell to further the detoxifying and such?"

Mal was hesitant. "How much longer?"

"Maybe a week at most. Gets him well on his way as far as the toxins. In regards to the bones and nerves…He'll need at least the majority of the week to recover, if you two help me operate on him today."

Mal shook his head. "I don't have that kind of payment available to-"

Zhi brushed him off. "Won't charge you. But I will tell you….There will be a bounty out for this one."

Before Mal could ask, Zoë leaned over and whispered in his ear, "If you do turn the boy in, Sir, prepare to go to a special kind of hell."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Serenity

Simon couldn't believe how quickly time seemed to go by and yet be at a standstill all at once. With the aid of a crutch, he was able to move about the ship more, usually deciding on which level to spend the majority of the day on. The accommodations were small yet comfortable for him. He was pleasantly surprised by what things were packed for him by Benat, Park and Lucinda. The only thing missing was his med kit. Book had the room beside him, all the better to keep him company most nights.

Today he chose the main deck, sitting at the coffee table watching Wash in the galley prepare something for him and his wife. Simon tilted his head as he watched Wash prepare a third bowl. Zoë came up behind her husband, grabbed both of their bowls originally taking them to the dining table as Wash handed Simon his.

Simon shook his head in protest; Wash responded with a firm placement of the bowl in both hands. "You think I'm going to trust you," Wash said, "with my mother's secret recipe that is?"

Simon smiled at that as did Zoë. "Truth be told," she said, moving over to the coffee table instead, "it isn't much of a secret." She looked him in the eye waiting for him to take in the double meaning. "And I know you're not going to leave so much as a morsel in that bowl, right?"

Both of them talked about the day's agenda, something about stopping off to see a badger? Simon drank it all in, knowing he was just given a one-two lecture about barely putting on any weight. But if they only knew how much he was improving otherwise….

-------

Wash stood in the infirmary trying his best to tend to a scrape in the middle of his back with little success. He hadn't intended on colliding with the locker door with that much force. Of course, he hadn't meant to leave that door open in the first place, but that was beside the point. As he spun around for what was probably the third time, he was surprised and relieved to see Simon standing there. "Hey," the pilot said, "mind giving me a hand?"

"You know," Wash said trying to ignore the pain in his back, "I was always the clumsy one growing up. My sister was the only one properly named Grace."

"My sister's graceful, too," Simon said softly. "She's a gifted dancer…among other things."

Wash turned his head slightly, surprised and amused that the other man was finally talking. "So, who's the older one – you or her?"

"That depends. Chronologically, I am. Otherwise, in so many other ways, River is, by years."

Turning his attention to the window that looked out into the cargo bay, Wash noticed how Simon's face lit up as he continued talking about his sister. "Sounds like you two are close," he said. "That's good. That's important."

"We're not now, though," Simon said, his voice dropping in volume. "We're lost. I think I've a map, but…"

Wash stretched out a hand, offering to look at it. He felt the worn paper placed into his hand. The patient studied it as the doctor concluded the treatment. "This is a map all right. Shows you which location, the plans for a facility… I can get you the exact spot of this if you give me time, all right?"

Simon nodded. "Thank you."

-------

(Planet-side)

"That good for nothing-." Mal turned, half a mind to return to Badger's place and confront him, if anything, just to let off some steam.

"We have other options, Sir," Zoë said as she kept walking knowing he'd be right beside her as always. "Not saying I agree with the first one, but…"

"Why should we want to be dealin' with 'em outer rim planets, Mal?" Jayne picked up a rock and tossed it. "Ain't like they got the kinda platinum we need no how."

Mal grunted. "It's not the fact that I think Patience will shoot me-."

"Again," Zoë added.

He would have loved it if she at least _smiled_ when she said that. "It's just, I want somethin' reliable."

Jayne had a lopsided grin on his face. "What if there were a bounty on either passenger? Or maybe selling off that youn'un as a worker. Doubt the preacher would fetch us a-."

Mal whirled on him, not liking getting his dander up. "We have _paying_ customers, not cargo for pay, got it? Now, how 'bout being quiet from here until, or is that too much to ask?"

"Today, yes, Sir." Zoë said. "It isn't like things go smooth for us."

As if to accentuate the point, shots were fired randomly from one of the side streets. Instantly, Zoë and Mal dropped to the ground, surveying the sides shooting, they determined that it wasn't worth getting involved in. Jayne, on the other hand…

They made it back to the ship without too much damage.

Almost.

-------

(Serenity)

Zoë hobbled into the infirmary prepared to take out the tools she needed. She wasn't going to admit to the Captain that she got hit. It was a flesh wound if that, and if he didn't notice the blood then, she wasn't going to point it out to him now.

The gauze wasn't where it was supposed to be. Simon walked by, responding to the clattering of tools and the opening and closing of drawers and doors. Zoë looked up, exasperated. "I might be looking for a new patient," she said, irritated that she still couldn't find-.

"May I?" he asked, and then purposefully walked to the one part of the infirmary she hadn't checked.

Zoë watched, impressed, yet not completely surprised with the young man's skill. She thought back to when the three of them were at Zhi Ismat's clinic. The few times Simon had opened his eyes, he seemed to focus in on the various supplies and medications.

"I'll admit," she said breaking the silence, "that you're recovering quite well. Some folks I'd seen that damaged never came out of it."

Softly, he asked, "You fought in the war?" She nodded. "Then, you know what it means to give up hope?" Again, she nodded. "How did you find a way to go on?"

"How do you?" she asked. "Look, I'm not gonna say that it's completely gone. It resurfaces now and again – the pain. But, you can't let go and die. Even the smallest symbol can be the key. Just give up and that's a war you never fought."

Simon listened to what she was saying. With a shaky hand, he took out a few items from his pocket. "Have you seen something like this?"

Zoë took one of the small items and looked at it closely. "It's a claim key for a parcel. Do you know where it's at?" Simon shook his head. "I think we could to send a wave to Amnon Duul at the bazaar and see if he might have them." She looked up at him. "Where did these come from?"

Simon completed a couple of more stitches before answering. "There's a group….who wants…to free…some folks. I…was…to...help…but..." He looked down ashamed.

He was too young to be a soldier, too clean, too…Core. And yet he was fighting something, she was certain of that. Now, she inspected the sutures on her leg. "You do good work," she said. "You've been doing this long?"

He said nothing as he cleaned up the room; Zoë assisted. She would make it a point to see to it that Kaylee whip up a dessert for tonight, and that Simon would get the largest serving of it.

----------------

Dinner was a hodgepodge banquet, as Shepherd's gifts were dwindling to an end as far as fresh foods went. Kaylee had managed to bake a cake of sorts; Zoë added her share of the fruit to the plate meant for Simon.

Jayne complained, "What's with the special treatment?"

"None needed," Zoë said, challenging Jayne to say otherwise.

Mal exchanged glances with his first officer. He knew she thought he was blind to her injury from the earlier outing, knew she took care of it efficiently. But there was something else and he couldn't figure it out right yet.

Looking at the rest of his crew, Kaylee was Kaylee – nothing more to be said there. Wash gave an approving look to his wife during that dessert deal. Book didn't react one way or 'tother. Inara had kept to herself in her shuttle tonight. And the boy was still silent.

"Just ain't right, that's all," Jayne said.

Mal set his chopsticks down and watched the boy glance hesitantly from Kaylee to Zoë to Jayne, then back down at the plate. For a moment, it looked as if he was about to offer the mercenary his share. "I suggest you enjoy that, son," Mal said. "Jayne's a big boy who can skip extras."

Had Mal paid attention to how the seating was exactly, he wouldn't have had the boy at the same corner as Jayne. The mercenary's arm swung back, knocking the plate up and into the boy's face while spilling him out of his chair to boot. "Jayne! Leave now," Mal said, his voice a cold steel tone.

Kaylee was helping the boy clean up. Book and Zoë rose at the same time; she had her weapon drawn just in case. Mal remained sitting, aware of the worry on Wash's face. Jayne left, snatching the plate with the smeared treat and taking the remnants with him.

The boy's hand was tremblin' something fierce. Mal motioned Book to take him down to quarters and administer the necessary shot. Mal in the meantime, had some words to be had with the bully. He'd just give the other man time to pout for a spell first.

----------

Just about everyone was asleep. Simon didn't know how he should have reacted to the selfless kindness that Zoë had shown. He knew he rightly earned the captain's wrath by now. As for Jayne… It was all Simon could do not to flashback to that night in the alley. He hadn't meant to take the seat in the corner; it was the one he 'fell' into given how his leg had acted up again. He would have moved over a chair had Kaylee not been so quick.

He heard voices in the cargo bay and crawled out to investigate, thankful that Book was asleep.

Simon watched the captain strike Cobb across the face with a wrench. A part of him tallied the different bones that were probably cracked or broken along the jaw from the initial contact. As soon as Cobb's head struck the rail, Simon continued the probability of concussions.

"You leave the boy be, Jayne!" Mal advanced on the fallen man, hands on his knees as he bent down to whispered something else in Jayne's ear. Mal straightened back up. "Are we clear about the boundaries set with regards to the boy?" he said aloud.

At the captain's voice, Simon shook his head (big mistake) as he admitted to himself that Cobb was responsible for Simon's latest embarrassment and minor injuries. His sister would call him illogical. And Simon would be inclined to agree. The mental argument spun around in circles until Simon felt fatigued from the dizziness of it.

The captain turned and walked away, wrench still in hand. Simon almost called out when he saw Jayne get up and stride toward the captain as if to strike from behind. The captain sensed it though and backhanded him with the wrench. With that, Jayne was down for the count. Mal shook his head in disgust as he went up the stairs.

--

"Help me," Simon said to Wash as he tried to drag Cobb towards the infirmary.

Wash was at Simon's side instantly, nudging the wounded man aside. "What do you think you're doing?" All he wanted to do was grab something to snack on until he heard the noises that brought him here.

"He needs…" Simon struggled to regain his breath, "medical….attention." He looked Wash in the eye. "Please."

The pilot shook his head in disbelief. "After what he did to you?" Wash tried to make him laugh by adding, "If Inara, or worse, my wife, realizes that you're out of bed, let alone attempting -."

"Please?"

Wash weighed the options. The young man - it grated his nerves how the others referred to Simon as 'the boy'- had determination, no point of arguing that. And Wash knew how much strength and purpose Simon found in the infirmary. Then again, Wash had no problem letting Jayne lay in a cargo hold and suffer some. Simon's needs outweighed Wash's wish of revenge, though.

"All right, but _I'll_ carry him." That was easier said than done, having dropped the big brute at least half a dozen times from points 'A' to 'B'.

Ignoring the doctor's protests, Wash strapped the patient to the bed. "I don't want to take any chances, got it?" Wash knew Simon was too tired to argue. "So, as your nurse, what do you need me to do?"

Watching the young surgeon's hands move with assuredness just amazed Wash. So focused was he in assisting and watching, that Wash failed to hear the captain enter.

"What the hell is this?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Serenity

"All things considered, Sir, I think you ought to let the boy be," Zoë said after pulling Mal aside towards the common area.

He kept looking in the direction of the infirmary then back at his crew. "Excuse me? That boy is barely standing, barely walking, barely making progress and-."

"And he knows his trade," Zoë said continuing her argument. "Took care of my wounds quick and clean."

Wash smiled, glad that his wife spoke up _and_ agreed with him. "Nothing personal, captain, but he does a better job than you or my wife." Zoë gave him a look. "Of course, careless comments like this could have me paying _Simon_ another visit sooner than I'd like."

Book nodded, having joined the trio. "It has been quite some time since he's been in a medical room on his preferred side of the setting."

"I'll ask if Inara can contribute any supplies, then, to give him something to do," Mal said. "Other than that, it will be a while before we get to Boros where we'd have a decent chance of buying goods." He couldn't justify asking for credit from Zhi given the generosity of the surgery in the first place.

"Assuming we have money to _buy_ with, right?" Wash asked.

Mal gave him a look. "Don't go getting bad wishes over a job we've still got. Patience-."

"She'll shoot you, won't she?" Zoë asked.

Wash added, "But this time, it's not so bad, since Simon can sew you up and-."

"It was a long time ago," Mal said. "We need this job and it will pay a mite more than weak tea, too, I might add." He jerked a thumb in the direction of the other room. "Why don't you two help me lug the lug back to his bunk? Preacher, get him to bed for some rest." Mal knew he wanted to have a long talk with the boy this time.

-------

Mal stood at the door for a while, watching the boy leaning against the counter, a steady hand taking inventory. Suddenly, a seizure seemed to overtake the boy's right hand.

"Want to add this to your collection?" Mal said, walking towards him. He was impressed at how quickly the boy forced his hand still. "See if anything here might help you?"

"Th-Thank you, sir."

"Don't 'sir' me," Mal said. It unnerved him to watch the boy wince at what Mal thought was not an unkind tone. "Sorry about earlier." Mal set the collection Inara gave him on the counter next to the doctor's hand, watching it for any signs of tremors. A flicker of one gave way.

"It was my fault. I'm sorry. I didn't ask permission and-."

Mal interrupted him, stopping the flooding of apologies that would irritate him later. "You're right. Coulda asked. I coulda offered. That's then. _Now_ I need you to tell me what you need. We ain't got much more than basics and I reckon you'd know more of what we need or what you want."

"Th-this will be fine, s-. I-."

Mal couldn't make up his mind what angered him more – the boy's apologizing all the time or the scared stammering. "You gotta learn to relax. Let your guard down some and give your body a chance to heal. Stay tense like that all the time and, well…you won't be helping yourself none."

The doctor nodded silently.

"You're kinda young for a doctor, ain't ya?" Mal asked, leaning back against the counter, facing the boy.

Again, he nodded silently.

Mal added one-sided conversations to list of pet peeves. "Betcha got a damn fine education at an Alliance Academy, huh?" Another nod. "So, why ain't you working in some fancy hospital?"

Mal expected another silent nod instead of the long silence that followed.

"Not worth it," Simon said softly.

"Huh." Mal nodded. Three words more and no apology. That was a start. "Yeah, who needs them ritzy places no how, right?"

Simon looked at the collection of medicines Mal brought, but didn't reach for any of them. 'What?' Mal wondered. 'Was the boy afraid of being hit or something?'

"Want me to help you put these away? Or want help in cleaning out the cupboards?" Simon shook his head, stopped, nodded, then stopped again.

"Gotta make up your mind, son. I can do one or t'other but not both at once."

Still not looking him in the eye, Simon said, "Whatever you wish…."

Mal noted the minor victory of no 'sir' or start of one this time. One heckuva small step. "This is your territory, doc. You tell me what you need when you need it, all right?" Simon nodded.

"All right, then," Mal said, feeling the exact opposite. He'd have to bug that preacher or Inara on how to help the boy. Or better yet, maybe Kaylee… "All right," he said again, patting the boy on the shoulder. To heck with Wash's argument. As far as Mal was concerned, Simon was still a boy, and a damn frightened one at that. Given time, Mal might make a man of him yet.

-----

"I think I made the captain angry," Simon said, helping Book set the table for common meal.

Book looked at him from the stove. The room was still empty, so of course the young man would talk now. He knew that would end as soon as the first person walked in however, and that would be too soon – as always. "Why do you say that, son?"

"The infirmary. I…I didn't ask first." Simon frowned. "I'm always supposed to ask first…"

Book turned back to the stove and smiled. If that was all that it was… "Son, you needed to find a comfortable place. The captain knows that now and you're fine. I wouldn't worry much about it."

"It's just that... Sometimes, I think, he'll return me to my father and…"

Book set two hot dishes on the table and gestured Simon to finish preparations. "He isn't the one to fear and you know it. Cobb, on the other hand-."

"That's the silly thing, too," Simon said, interrupting unexpectedly. "I _know_ the captain can protect me from him, and yet…I don't want to make him mad. I don't want to, and yet, I don't know what he expects of me. It's…It's like starting all over with Father again."

Book regarded him. In some respects the Shepard could see similarities between Gabriel Tam and Malcolm Reynolds – strong authoritative figures. That's as far as the comparisons went, though. In looking at that comparison, Book wondered how to explain the relationship between Simon and himself. "You're not afraid of me, son."

"You saved me," Simon said, quickly looking down and fiddling with a pair of chopsticks. "You risked everything for me, and I don't know why. I don't know how to repay you or-."

Book laughed kindheartedly. "Simon, _you_ saved _me_, remember? As far as risks, I have nothing to lose. You, on the other hand, have so much to gain."

As often as Book told the tale of how Simon stopped the ambush in the alley, he suspected that the captain knew the truth and never challenged it – yet. "Call the others for supper, would you?"

------------

Kaylee sat on one of the stools and swung her legs back and forth, a bottle in her hand. "So, this medicine is pretty rare, right? I mean, I ain't never seen it in here before and never known Inara to have it neither."

"It's fairly common in some places," Simon said, pointing to where it should go. "Or at least, that's what I thought. Could be wrong."

Kaylee made a noise. "Oh, no! I doubt you be ever wrong, Simon. A smart doctor like you got a lotta learning and such, so… You'd know lots of stuff I don't."

Simon stopped writing. "I could say the same about you. Being out here, in the Black. I've never left Osiris until… You'd be the one I'd need to teach me so much."

This time, Kaylee laughed. "Only if you want to learn about machines and the like. Not much else I knowed about that I can teach you."

"You're so wrong," he said softly. "I can learn… if you wanted to teach me, that is."

-----

Book entered Simon's room and sat down at the end of the bed. "How do you feel today, son?"

Simon looked up from the book he was reading and sighed. "Good. I mean…the infirmary, you finding my med kit among the other things… I feel good."

Book matched his smile then pursed his lips as he moved closer to Simon. "I found these at the bottom of the med kit. Please don't think I've been trying to keep anything from you or such…" Book handed him three sealed envelopes.

He remained where he was as Simon opened the first one slowly. Tears welled up in his eyes as he read the first page, then the second, and finally the third. He drew his knees up to his chest, rested his head atop of them and cried.

With one hand, Book moved the other envelopes aside; with the other, he drew Simon close to him as Simon continued sobbing. It was going to be a difficult night, Book thought. He wasn't about to pry the pages from Simon. If and when he wanted to talk about them, Book would be there to listen.

-----

"I don't get it, Inara," Mal said pacing back and forth in her shuttle. "The boy's a mite jumpy around practically anyone and damn near scared of me all the time. Why is that?"

"Mal, if you knew what happened to him, then-."

Mal shook his head. "That's just it. I knowed what you told me and that ain't much more than what the preacher told me. I want _him_," pointing in the direction of the passenger rooms, "to tell me. And as far as I can tell, he don't talk to anyone outside of the preacher."

"Kaylee's had a long talk with him when she helped with supplies. Wash and Zoë say the same thing."

"I didn't see that when I went." He didn't want to share the one-sided, apologetic so-called conversation he had.

Inara smiled. "Were you hurt?"

"Damn right I was," Mal said, seeing a chance for sad humor. "I wanted to go home and cry to my momma it hurt me so."

Inara's smile grew into a light chuckle. "I meant, as a patient. He seems inclined to calm a patient with casual conversation while he works on small things."

"Oh." Mal felt silly then. And then again, there were probably a whole lotta things to feel silly about lately. "So, I should go and get myself sick or shot, that it?"

Inara deadpanned. "Patience will help with that last one, I'm sure."

-----------------

(Leaving Whitefall)

Mal ran onto the loading ramp of Serenity and let out a whoop. "Told you! I _told_ you that'd we'd do all right!" He spread his arms out and spun about. "And, I _didn't_ get shot! So, all in favor of taking off for-."

Simon stepped out to join them. "You're back."

Mal turned around. "Of course, we're back! And, we've platinum and we have…" Something about the expression on the boy's face was hard to read at the moment. "We've something to celebrate!" He watched as Kaylee took Simon with her towards the engine room.

"Wash, how about aiming for the bazaar. I want to see if we got any mail to add to our good news," Mal said. He looked at Zoë wondering if she picked up on the same thing he did.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Serenity: Planning a Rescue

(Serenity)

Zoë nodded to the others gathered around the table, a silent understanding shared between most of them. "We might have ourselves a job," she said, laying out her pieces of the puzzle.

"It pays beautifully," Wash said, "in a manner of speaking." He also lay out the notes and maps he had made. "Although, I still think that-." Zoë cut him off with a look.

Book lay down the items he procured. Inara was last. "I've no idea what it is, really," she said.

Mal stood there looking at the items on the table. "I see a map, a baton, a trinket, a document, some coins and…" His eyes narrowed on the wrapped parcel in front of Zoë. "Is that what you went and got at the post?" Zoë nodded. "All right. So, explain to me how this helps?" Mal said. "You think the boy-."

"Simon," Wash interrupted.

Zoë took over. "I'm believing he would have finished whatever this was had he not been detained, Sir. Think it's worth a shot."

"Either that or you're looking for a new way to _get_ shot," Mal retorted. "What else?"

Wash moved the map to the center of the table. "This is the layout of the Academy on one of the moons by Boros." Off of Mal's look he added, "I know, I know, it's crawling with Alliance, but, that's where the facility happens to be." He tapped the map again. "We've an air shaft and approximately eight to ten floors or so to descend to before we get to where River's at."

"We can get passed the alarms here," Zoë circled the places, "here, and here. The key is to get from that seventh level back to the surface before the ventilation lasers switch on."

"This," Book said holding up a silver charm, "is something that River will know about."

Inara picked up her item. "Zoë, that box you have. Does it need this?"

Zoë took it and tried it on the oval box she had in front of her. It opened, much to everyone's surprise. Inside were some more papers. Zoë glanced at them before passing them around the table. Inara held on to them the longest. "This is insane. I don't see how-."

"It has to," Wash said. "Simon and River need-."

"And you all went about collecting these items without telling me?" Mal said, thinking maybe it was a waste of energy worryin' about Jayne all this time.

Book shook his head. "Simon's had some of these things before…the house arrest."

Mal studied the shepherd. Sure, they talked, but not _really _talked. He was gonna change that once they was done here.

----------

Derrial Book knew this would happen. He was impressed with the fact that he found a way to postpone it for as long as he had. Either that or, and this he found commendable, the Captain hadn't pressed on in an aggravating fashion.

"What exactly happened on Osiris, Preacher?" Mal asked as the two of them sat at the bridge during a late shift. "Don't tell me the boy saved you, because you've only the one bruise to his many when you first got here."

Book smiled slightly. He knew the captain was observant, and yet not overbearing. Since he knew Inara trusted him – and he suspected there was more than that, but it wasn't his place to pry – then Book knew he could trust the captain. Of course, it was pure fate that led Derrial to Inara in the first place, but that was another story for another time.

"I was wandering about the Capital City, a restless night having left the Abbey not long ago. Something drew me there; can't say what exactly. Saw two men surreptitiously making their way toward the alley. This was after I saw…" Book decided it was time to admit this truth finally, "I saw Jayne Cobb and two of his friends beating Simon in the shadows.

"Now, I was torn because of the other two men that caught my eye, I knew they had to have something to do with it somehow. So, I went after them – Garcia and Stanislaus. I'd rendered one unconscious and had a…chat with Garcia. Garcia mentioned how he found Simon to entice him about River… Garcia…kindly….gave me the items he brought meant for Simon.

"I asked him why they ran instead of helping the lad. I recall not caring for the answer he gave and just about…just about did something un-Christian like. That's how Simon saved me; his need of my help and my need to help him."

Mal nodded. "Go on."

So, Book mentioned how he went about talking to the driver, Benat, and the driver's disgust over the father's role of setting up the ambush. Book mentioned how a young woman named Gael had agreed to meet him in that same area of Simon's ambush and offered to continue to help as liaison between me, on Simon's behalf, and the underground group.

"The hardest part was how those at the house were going to help in Simon's escape – between emptying out Simon's accounts to securing his belongings, the letters and such. Gael helped there, with information about a banquet and used her influence to guilt Mrs. Tam into getting a companion. Good fortune brought Ms. Inara our way."

Mal's expression didn't change. "And Fortune brought you to us and us to his sister. How fortunate."

---------

Jayne Cobb examined the stitchin' job and other bandagin'. He wouldn't say it aloud, but he was impressed. It was a fair sight better than Mal's job, and Zoë's was better than Mal's, but this weren't her doing. He hadn't meant to lash out at the kid the other night. Somethin' had been buggin' him ever since they came on board.

He knew the preacher didn't like him none, which was fine by Jayne 'cuz he didn't like him none, either. But, Jayne felt more guilt from this preacher than others and that bothered him. Not as much as how the young 'un's avoidance of him did, that's for sure.

There was a knock on the bunk door above. "Yeah!" he hollered up. If it was Mal, he'd have to face the music sooner or later, or worse, prepare to look for a different transport.

He was surprised to see the boy coming down cautiously. "I…" Jayne didn't see a need to give the boy reason for the action. But, he figured he better say something. "Sorry." There. He was done. The kid could leave now.

Simon said nothing as he began to check the bandages. "Any dizziness or…" Jayne answered the questions in the order the kid asked them. It wasn't until he took a good look at his hands that it hit Jayne…hard.

"You're a doc, aren't ya." Simon nodded. "Some fancy rock?" Again, he nodded. Jayne felt he best press on for the next question, much as he didn't wanna. "Osiris?" A pause before another nod. 'Gorramit," Jayne muttered.

Simon took a step back. "If there's any dizziness or…" He kept his head down as he began to climb the ladder.

"Hold it," Jayne said. Even to his ears the command sounded rough. "Please," he said, trying to sound polite-like. "Git back here a sec." Simon did so. "Stop." It was in the half-shadows that Jayne saw it as clear as day. Any wonder the preacher been givin' him the evil eye.

"What were you doin' in that alley at that hour?"

Simon stepped back to the ladder, one hand on the rail, but not gearing to climb it. "Besides being someone's punching bag? Not much." There was a trace of a smile as the boy tried to make it sound funny.

Jayne bared his teeth when he smiled. "That's funny." The smile vanished quickly. "I'm serious," he said solemnly. "You had no business out there, a Core kid like you."

This time Simon made to climb up, still looking down. "Was trying to find my sister," he said softly, then ascended.

--------------

"I want in," Jayne said to Mal who was on his way to the cargo bay.

"Pardon?" Mal wanted to inspect this one-person craft and make sure everything was good to go. He'd need Kaylee to examine this cryo-thing, too.

Jayne kept pace with him. "You goin' in for his sister, right? I want in."

"Who told you that?" He made it a point to have meetings where Jayne wasn't around to hear. Nothin' personal, but Mal couldn't trust him just now.

Jayne grabbed Mal's arm to stop him before going down the steps. "Look, a kid who takes beatin' like that to look for his sister… I'm in."

Mal turned, pulling his arm away. He might have been a bit shorter than his mercenary, but he could still command. "How'd you go about that beatin' job, anyhow? Was it when we was on-."

"Mal, listen," Jayne wasn't going to rehash his plans to the Captain. No one else did. "I got a job, the money was good - ruttin' good, really; but the kid – he's better."

He studied the other man, surprised by a great many things. "Who hired ya to do it?"

Jayne didn't answer, because truth be told, the guys he hooked up with were the ones given the job and arranged his entry to the planet. He didn't ask no questions, and he didn't argue when his 'fair share' was larger than what he signed on for. Of course, given what all he done… "I'm in?" he asked.

After a long silence, Mal said, "Yeah. You're in."

---------

"There's only one way this will work out."

Zoë pushed the collection of papers Mal's way. "You're the one going in, Sir."

Malcolm Reynolds looked long and hard at his first officer and wondered at what point she completely lost her senses. "To an Alliance facility? Send me to Hell first," he said.

Book spoke up. "The false ident and credentials all fit a Caucasian male. Between the four options, you're it."

Wash shrugged his shoulders. "I need to fly the getaway ship."

"There's no way Simon can do it," Inara said. "As much as some people," she looked pointedly at Wash, "want him to do it, for his own good and all, there's too much risk."

Mal looked at the rest gathered around the table, glad his engineer was busy with the doctor again. "Are we sayin' that because of his health, because he be looking considerably better lately and those tremors-."

Jayne held up something. "This came off the Cortex. Bounty's out on the boy's head. Daddy dear's paying plenty of platinum for him." He looked at the fellow co-conspirators. "Why don't I go?"

A chorus of 'Nos' rang out, each voice having a different reason, he was sure.

Book said, "No offense, but you don't look like a government inspector. Soldier, definitely," he added, "but not an official."

-----

Malcolm Reynolds stared at the person before him, loathing the uniform, the colors, the coldness and the causes it represented. He had half a mind to take the eagle-decorated baton and hit the person over the head with it. Of course, the problem with that would be the headache afterwards.

The other half of Mal's mind said 'yes' to the plan, henceforth the result of him staring at himself in the mirror.

Mal didn't like it, didn't agree with it, yet saw, as the others did, no way around it. On the one hand, he agreed with Wash, in that the boy should be allowed to do it. Hell, if that was what was needed to bring the boy back to life completely, Mal would have dressed him in the uniform in a heartbeat. But the preacher had to point out the boy's poor physical condition and how it wouldn't match the role he had to play. Despite everyone's best efforts, especially Kaylee's, the boy barely gained a pound.

So, Mal read over the script again, his face pitiless, emotionless and as cold as could be. It was quite a feat, given Mal felt the plenty angry at the Alliance. But, two out of three weren't bad. Setting the script down, he said it as best he could. There was a knock on the shuttle door, disrupting the recitation.

"Hey, Simon," he said as the doctor stepped in. The young man found a crate to sit on as he took in Mal's appearance.

"You're going through with it?" he said, not quite a question, but not quite a statement either.

Mal gave a curt nod. "Yep. Do I look the part? Or should I find some of Inara's makeup just in case?" That got the smile he wanted. "Look, I've already got the suit tailored for me, so…."

Simon smiled again. "I wish I could spare you the walk through that... place. It's more my environment, I suppose, so…"

"It was but a tangent of your world," Mal corrected. "Look, I've leadership experience and you've got the healing kind. You – you're a kind kid. Me, I'm a mean old man."

Simon shook his head. "You're more the opposite. I should be the one risking-."

"No," Mal said sternly. "You're done riskin'. We're bringing River home. I promise." He paused, figurin' it was best to ask Simon directly about his comment after the Whitefall job. "Why'd you say what you said then," he asked, "'bout you being surprised of my being back?"

Simon picked at a canvas cover before answering. "The family I left behind… I've this feeling I'm not going to see them again. Lucinda….she was my Mrs. Peggotty. Park was my Mr. Micawber. Benat…maybe Creekle." He paused. "I just…sometimes, I think I'm imagining all of this, that the drugs have distorted me for life, you know? What I want to be real isn't, and what is, I'd rather it not be. Then there are times I don't know which is which."

Mal nodded sagely. "Believe me when I say that this family will be reunited. _Dong ma?_ Now, is there anything I should know before going in?" He held up the silver trinket. "Anything I should say about this, for instance?"

Simon smiled, taking the charm from him. "This was for an exam I smuggled home for River to take when she was little. She was so bored with what was given her already and wanted something fun to do." He paused again, fingers running over the edges of the charm. "I snuck that test in under a made-up name, distracted the teacher while it was being graded… She had a perfect score. Teacher thought it was impressive to see a second score like that, seeing as how I was assumed to get perfect scores by default, but…anyway, Ms. Yori gave me the charm off her necklace and I in turn gave it to River."

Mal smiled, too. This had to be done and his crew was going to do it, including Jayne. "Well, this is a pretty well thought up plan, I'll tell you that."

Simon shook his head. "I can't take credit for any of that," he said returning the charm. "Here I am, supposedly top three percent of my class and I couldn't even figure out the puzzle pieces before me."

"So, it took some team-work," Mal said. "We can do this." He looked at the charm again. "What should I say when I give your sister this?"

Simon thought about it for a moment and said, "Butterflies' Ballet." He smiled, "She'll know the meaning of it. It was our little secret."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: The Academy

With gloved hands folded behind his back, Malcolm Reynolds walked down the corridor of the lab that no one knew existed. Well, no one but those few who made it their business to know. He tucked in the back of his mind a notion to make gorram sure that the rest of the 'verse learned of this.

What he had seen of the facility turned his stomach. Being in a prison or somewhere out in Serenity Valley faired a mite better than this, he thought, given the darkness of the surroundings. What little light existed cut through the dark like a knife, harshly and with ragged edges.

Mal noted the conditions the 'students' were in; suspecting protein cubes weren't the main focused fare for diet based on the numerous tubes he saw. If any of his crew were put in a place like this, he'd cut down every Alliance agent between him and them. Too many souls were down here, too many torn families above ground…

Now, he had one soul to save and one soul only.

He looked over this Doctor Mathias fella and could tell he was a smart idiot. Smart, like Mal's own doctor – yes, he'd taken to keepin' Simon on as doctor, given the boy's persuasive arguments of how he wanted to earn his keep proper. Idiot like Jayne, but not as smart. Jayne had the sense enough to know when what he was doing was wrong to somebody- like Simon, for instance. No. This Mathias fella was a smart idiot.

Such a smart idiot, Mal thought, that he probably didn't even know that Mal had already turned off the security cameras with the little device Kaylee and Wash cooked up. Jayne suggested the 'replay' feature, so nothing changed that shouldn't have.

"Tell me about this subject," Mal said, keeping his face and figure as cold and rigid as possible. His heart tugged and leapt at the same time – tugged at the anger of the insanity he saw before him in terms of Alliance arrogance at its worse and leapin' because, without a shadow of a doubt, he found the lost soul – the sibling resemblance not even a blind man could miss.

Mathias blubbered about capacity, training procedures, physical strengths and the like. Mal paid close attention when the doc went on about side effects, notin' things he knew Simon would want to hear about.

"Something troubling you?" Mal asked turning to the man by him now silent.

Mathias gave him a look of annoyance that Mal recognized from a commander he fought beside in the war. It was that 'holier-than-thou' look that Mal hated. That commander dropped dead two Alliance bullets later, an inconvenient kindness, considering. Mal wanted to drop this moron the same way, but knew that things would not go smooth after that.

"I fail to see the purpose of this visit," Mathias said. "What could you possibly gain that the others haven't learned?"

Mal knew this would break the mold of the role he was supposed to play, but he couldn't resist, because, in a way, it was fittin'. "That's your problem," he said admonishing the man. "You fail to see quite a bit." Mal positioned the baton, hoping he had it right. With a smile, Mal added, "As to gains, that's something you'll _never_ understand."

Mal dropped to one knee, slamming the baton with full force and watched the Alliance drones fall like puppets with their strings cut. Satisfied, he went quickly to River Tam, freeing her of her restraints.

"Come on, Darlin'," he said giving her shoulders a gentle shake. He went to the door to see if anyone was coming.

"Who sent you?"

Mal nearly jumped out of his skin as the girl stood right behind him. 'Gorrammit,' he thought, 'she was as good as Zoë.' Taking the charm out of his uniform shirt pocket, he said, "Butterflies' Ballet." The wistful smile she gave answered her question.

Mal shed the Alliance uniform, revealing a medical student's tunic beneath. "All right, Darlin' think we can-?"

"The ventilation shaft," she said softly. "Up is out."

Mal looked at her in awe and weariness. If she was a reader… "That's right. Ready to-?"

River already removed one of the other tech's tunics and put it over her clothes. "Let's go home," she said.

--

Mal was impressed by a number of things: first, that none of the drones followed them as they made their escape through the shaft; second, everything was going according to plan for once; and third that River got into the cryo with little fuss, giving the charm up last after she held it to her cheek, muttering something or t'other to herself.

He followed the directions Kaylee and Wash had given him about sealing up the cryo, hoping the recordings and vitals indicators were working accurately, and then left for the rendezvous point, frustrated that more families couldn't be reunited as well.

----

Mal and Jayne moved the cryo box to a secure place in the cargo bay, fastening down the sides. "It's gonna be a long week," he told the mercenary.

Jayne looked down at the box as the rest of the crew gathered around. None of them said anything as Simon weaved through the small group, slowly kneeling down before the box. He ran a hand over the top, then edges of it, tears trickling down his face as he did so.

Jayne and the others recognized the unspoken command by the Captain and each of them gave the young man the space he needed.

As Jayne went up the stairs ready to go to his bunk, he swore he'd make every gorram sons of whores pay.

Zoë stayed with Wash on the Bridge, her hand on his shoulder as he reached back and held it with his. They didn't need to say anything, knowing what was going through the other person's mind. What a curse of a blessing….

Kaylee swayed in her hammock in the engine room, holding a small figurine in her hand.' How could folks be so mean to one 'nuther? Thank goodness, it wasn't a coffin,' she thought.

Inara lit incense at her small alter and said a prayer, aware of some things Mal and the others weren't and ashamed of her being a part of the Alliance.

Book sat at in his room, Bible in hand, and said a prayer for River, for Simon, and for the strength to get through the trials yet to come.

Mal sat alone at the dining room table, tapping an empty coffee mug against the table top, wondering just how 'shiny' things were going to get, and how they were going to get through the week. In the meantime, he had a doc to send a wave to.

Simon sat on his heels, still in shock of what he saw as the clinical part of his mind took in the readings. His sister was free – or at least on her way closer to free. This family had accomplished what their blood one refused, what he was unable to.

He did remember some of what another informant had said, of the importance of the cryo – given the hazards one family had faced when that wasn't done, the shock driving their family member to suicide. Simon prayed that week would go by fast, as fast as Serenity did in when it went into hard burn.

For now, he pulled off his sweater, folded it into a pillow, and lay down at his sister's side – as close as he could get – and slept.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Serenity

"It ain't right," Jayne said finishing another set of lifting weights. "That boy gonna waste himself away doing that."

Book looked on agreeing. "What do you suggest? Brute force and tear him away from there?" He hadn't had much success in bringing the young man away from where he lay, either.

Jayne gave him a look. "Pickin' him up would suffice," the larger man said. He knew he could do it, too. The boy looked a fair sight lighter than the last time so Jayne knew he could pick him up single-handedly if he wanted to. Thing was, he didn't and knew he needed to, for the boy's own good.

"Has he eaten anything?" Book asked, taking Jayne's spot on the bench.

Jayne shook his head. "Even Kaylee offered to spoon-feed him herself. He hardily drunk anythin' and certainly ain't eatting nothun' since she first came back." Still looking at the sad sight, Jayne used one hand to spot the preacher. "It's like he's draining away, ya know?"

Book sat up at that. "Maybe we should get the captain down here." He mopped his brow. "Simon might listen to a direct order." He knew that was the course of action needed, but had a hard time reading how Simon's response would be.

Jayne ignored the comment, reaching Simon in a few easy strides. He bent down, wrapped one arm around the boy's waist and carried him off to Simon's quarters. Book was close on his heels, cautioning him on such a move, worried as Simon sway like a rag-doll.

Dropping him in the bed, Jayne leaned close and said tersely, "You gotta pull it together, you hear me? Ain't no ounce o' good her waking up and you being dead. You're a doctor. You need to get ready for your patient." Jayne paused, softening his tone as he added, "She needs you."

------

Zoë disagreed with how some of the others dealt with Simon's choices; not saying she agreed with the choices either, but still. She sat on the edge of his bed and watched him sleep. Didn't say anything, didn't hold his hand. She just sat there keeping watch over her adopted kid brother, ready to do battle with the dragons he'd face, that they'd face – together.

She had her theories about his gifts, the invisible ones Shepherd seemed to take in stride. While the captain pondered on Simon's behavior around most of the crew, Zoë couldn't help but observe his behaviors _after_ the encounters. The only other person she shared her ideas about this were with her husband, who quite often, and sometimes annoyingly, agreed with her most of the time.

Zoë knew there were two key things that defined the young man in front of her – his former life as a surgeon, and his sister. A few more steps closer to recovering one and preparation on how to heal the other…those were in the back of Zoë's mind until she could sleep on it, devoting more attention to the problems.

-----------

Mal stood at the door of Simon's room debating whether to let the boy sleep or wake him up. Where Kaylee failed – a thought that boggled Mal to no end – Inara succeeded. Granted, Simon only ate a small bowl of protein mush once a day, but it was something.

He had the information set and organized in his bunk for quite some time, again debating. Was it good for Simon to read up on what happened to his sister while there at the Academy, or approach this problem with a clear slate, so to speak? Mal let everyone else who was interested to peruse the files, wondering if it was a much mangled mess of madness that he thought it was.

To the problem at hand, Mal knew the clothes packed for Simon long ago were larger on him now than before. The crew had stopped over at a market to get supplies. At one booth, Mal found something he long sought after. Right beside it, he found some clothes that were more suitable for the boy. Perhaps it was about time to fit him properly.

"Hey," Mal said giving the edge of the bed a slight kick. Simon's response was faster than Mal anticipated. "Well," Mal said in an attempt to cover his own surprise. "Got something for you," he said as he tossed a new outfit on the corner of the bed. If Simon was thinking of sleeping on the floor like that again, these might be a bit warmer.

Simon sat up slowly, not taking his eyes off of Mal as he inspected the material with his hands. "This… You… What about…" Simon finished none of the fractured arguments. "Thank you," he said softly.

Mal was a mite tickled by that. Leave it to the boy to be worried about others needs, Mal thought. "Well…you needed it."

---------

Mal thought this day wouldn't come soon enough. Granted, it was a good thing they hailed their friendly 'family' doctor given as how he up and moved and all. But, Serenity finally docked at Zhi Ismat's clinic. The doctor wasn't too surprised to see Wash and Jayne wheel in the cryo box.

Mal had considered telling everyone else to stay aboard, then thought better of it. It wouldn't be fair to them if they couldn't be nearby for support. Besides, he didn't want to be the only one here with Simon when… whatever this was going to be.

"See, you folks know how to listen," Zhi said, turning some dials on the side. Before he removed the top, he looked up at Simon. "Are you ready for this?" he asked. Simon nodded, his eyes fixed on the box. To Mal, he said, "Hand me that robe over there. Child's liable to be cold." Simon, still staring ahead, took the robe from Mal.

Zhi said, "Do you have a trinket of some kind to give to her?"

Mal nodded, taking the charm out of his pocket. He hadn't meant to not give it back to the boy; it was just something he held on a spell longer than he meant to. This, he handed to Simon as well.

Zhi nodded to Simon who stood at the ready. The lid of the box was removed, revealing a naked form curled up in a fetal position. Zhi injected her with something and after a moment or two; the young girl woke up gradually, breathing rapidly.

Simon quickly wrapped the robe around her, hugging her at the same time. Into one of her hands, he pressed the charm then wrapped her fingers around it, whispering "Butterflies' Ballet." Both siblings held onto each other as if afraid to let go. River's body slackened and Simon strengthened his embrace.

Ismat tapped the young man on the shoulder, motioning him to carry River to one of the beds. Mal held back his crew members that were about to step in to do the carrying, having confidence in the boy, despite his fatigue. Simon refused to leave her side as Ismat conducted the examination. So far, everything was as Zhi expected, or at least what he could expect, he supposed.

River stirred a bit, agitated, disoriented and confused. She gripped Simon's hand so hard that Zhi thought he'd might have to deal with some more broken bones in a moment. River began talking – quickly – and in Chinese Mandarin no less. Zhi flipped a switch as the rambling continued. In time, she exhausted herself, closing her eyes as if asleep.

He glanced at Simon, gave him a reassuring smile as he took in the boy's anxious expression before he injected him with a soother.

"What you do that for?" Jayne said, advancing on the doctor. Mal held him back with an outstretched arm.

"The boy needed it," Zhi said laying him onto the next bed. "Zoë, help me with the hookups, please."

----

In the section of the station that served as Zhi's home, the crew sat around in the two rooms relaxing, talking, worrying and waiting. Mal sat across from Ismat, along with Book and Zoë.

"So, how'd you know there'd be a bounty out on him?" Mal asked.

Zhi leaned forward. "Because I know of Gabriel Tam. Because I already knew River was sent to the academy. Because I seen the similarities 'tween the two kids dead-on. It will be 'easier' for the father to kill the son than ensnare the daughter."

Zoë gave their host a warning look. "But, why Simon? He has a gift that can help-."

Zhi shook his head. "Gabriel doesn't see good or evil; only what he does and doesn't own, what he does and doesn't control. Believe me; he doesn't keep too many items in those latter categories. Simon, he could pay for in regards to a return. It's not beyond Gabe to place a high value for others to see and get a false impression, because once Simon's back in his grasp, he'll be just as you found him – worthless, meaningless, nothing, River's another story."

Zoë pressed on. "If Gabriel holds so little value for Simon, then why…? The Academy saw something in River, so isn't it possible that-?"

Zhi chuckled. "Of course the 'Academy' saw something valuable in River. It was Gabe's pride that made it possible to steal away such a pearl. Whether or not she'll fully recover from whatever was done to her, that's another story. Not impossible, mind you, but an interesting challenge none the less."

Mal leaned forward. "So far there hasn't been anything in the way of a news wave or law enforcement flag about River." He said it as a statement, but also as a question to see if Zhi would prove them wrong.

Chuckling, Zhi said, "Not likely. The Academy doesn't like to admit to 'lost' students. They take 'sabbaticals.' Most families are satisfied with that explanation."

"Sabbaticals?" Book asked raising an eyebrow.

"That's the generic term describing the disappeared, the destroyed and the dead, to name a few reasons." Zhi poured everyone another cup of tea. "No, you won't see anything about River. They'll take it as a loss for now, along with many others equally gifted as her. Unless there's something so vital that she has in her possession, they won't come for her anytime soon."

Book shook his head. "Not in an obvious fashion, you mean. I fail to see how the Alliance would allow subjects they've invested so much time and energy in to just slip away so easily."

"They're not _subjects_," Mal said, "They're _children._" Mal didn't find that explanation sitting well with him either, though. "How many would you say are there in all?"

"Who knows? It's still hard to pinpoint how many vanish by volunteering or working for Blue Sun; how many enter the Academy, or how many supposedly died during a Reaver raid." Zhi shook his head. "Since there are so many possible targets for the Alliance to take, there's no major flag." Looking at Book, he added, "The Alliance isn't as….frugal….with resources as most of us folks. If there are easy replacements out there, they'll replace. It's only when those supplies run short as well will they look at recovering what they see as theirs."

Zoë motioned back to where Simon was sleeping. The intravenous tubes force-feeding him – and his sister - broke her heart. "Is there a chance that he could hold on to his earlier life?"

Zhi frowned. "Not in an Alliance or Core planet setting, no. The moment he enters such a hospital, he's gone; back to the prison you broke him out of." To Mal he said, "Tell me _everything_ about that facility and what you learned about River."

By the time the explanations were finished – Zhi offering advice on how the siblings Tam could help each other heal – Mal and his crew took the sleeping siblings, instructions and supplies back to the ship and set off for their next destination, hoping for the best.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Colony

"Here are the rules," Mal said when he pulled Simon aside to the common area by the infirmary while Wash, Jayne and Kaylee loaded up the mule in the cargo bay. "One, you be diligent about your journaling. Two, you need _anything,_ you tell me. No wondering, worrying or waiting, you _tell_ me." Mal poked Simon in the chest enunciating the last three words. "Three, you use whatever resource you need, be it the Cortex, any of us for our know-how, that book you brought with you, anything. And four, if there's anything I forgot, I'm sure you're smart enough to bring it to my attention_. Dong ma_?"

Simon nodded. "Yes," he said.

Mal bit back a smile. The boy was finally dropping the 'sir' bit. "Good. Now, we're goin' to be landing in a place where folks might take kindly to any help you can offer. Think you're up to it?"

Again Simon nodded. "So is River," he said cautiously, "if that's all right?"

He thought about it for a moment. There still wasn't anything on the Cortex about her – description, disappearance or otherwise. Finally, he said, "Don't see why not - could do her some good, too." He got up to leave. "We'll be landing soon, so…."

------------

"Are you still worried about him?" Inara asked when Mal stopped by her shuttle.

He shook his head. "Not as much. Think this stop will do him some good. It ain't like any of the folks have access to the bounties posted, so…" Mal paused. "River's not as quiet as he was in the beginning," he said. "Got any theories on that?"

Inara's smile confirmed it. "She's…curious, that's all. I've never had a frequent visitor like her. River doesn't ask questions, but you can see it in her eyes, the way they dance about drinking in_ everything._ She's definitely the bolder of the two."

Mal nodded. Bold wasn't what he was after. Whole, maybe, but not bold. "She seems like a normal girl, so far," Mal said. "But, does she sleep?" Off of Inara's look, he added, "I knowed I gave her the room beside her brother's but, every time I go to check up on her, she ain't in it."

Inara shrugged her shoulders. "She's only slept in here a couple of times, Mal. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you." She folded some shawls and put them aside. "Do you know anything about 'fields of copper' Mal?"

He thought about it a spell. "That something she said?" he asked, pondering his response. She nodded. "Have you asked Simon?" Mal asked. He had an idea, but figured the brother would know for certain. She shook her head. "I'll ask him later, then," he said.

Mal turned to leave then stopped. "I know you don't kiss and tell, but…."

"And I won't tell you," Inara said, acknowledging the unasked question.

-----

"Zoë, could I ask you a question?" Simon asked as she walked up the stairs. She slowed to let him catch up, traces of a limp still existing. "I've done some reading and there are some things I don't understand."

"Some?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "I know I've seen more than you have and I'd say there's _plenty_ not to understand." With a gentle smile she encouraged him to ask.

"I read the entries in the universal encyclopedia and I don't think they have everything in it, as far as truths and facts, I mean."

At this, Zoë bit her lip to keep from chuckling, not wanting to make fun of him. "That's the advantage of the winners, isn't it, to select what is and isn't included in texts?" She motioned him to sit at the dining room table while she prepared something to eat. "What's got you puzzled?"

Simon fingered the edge of the notebook carefully phrasing his question. "What…exactly happened in….?" He looked at her, pleading for her to understand the question he couldn't finish.

All seriousness, she sat at the corner of the table beside him, pushing the bowl towards him, her appetite lost. "Hell, pure and simple. The captain – a Sergeant then - kept us sane, kept us focused. I was the only one left of the original platoon, it was just the two of us. He commanded thousands, fortifying us with his faith…" She paused as she recalled the crushing blow that killed that faith, extinguished the light that had once burned brightly within.

Simon looked at her with sad eyes that flashed briefly with anger then compassion. "So, he's surrounded himself within this cocoon that…"

Zoë shook her head. "Mercy, trust and forgiveness he left there in the Valley. Here, there's an ember of hope within this firefly. With any luck, that ember will flourish into the bright flames it's meant to be." She noted the pensive look on his face then. "What is it?"

Simon said nothing at first. "Those things he left behind…they're things I never found at home. I feel selfish in taking…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

Zoë put a hand on his arm. "Your place is _here_, Simon. You're one of the few who is becoming aware of the shroud that covered your eyes for years. Or maybe, a part of you has always known about it and can see that you weren't crazy in your beliefs. Your eyes are opened to the truth and there's no going back, unless you choose to."

"I haven't given much back, though," he said, "in exchange for-."

She gave him a quick smile. "There are some folks we'll be meeting that will prove you wrong soon enough. Now eat something. Can't have a doctor collapsing while he's tending to the needy."

-----

River danced off with Kaylee as they walked about the colony, teaming with life that Simon hadn't seen before. What he had taken for granted, these people had treasured. He looked after his sister until she was no longer in his sight then allowed Shepherd Book to lead him elsewhere.

Inara introduced the new members of the crew to the one in charge. "Nandi, I'd like you to meet Shepherd Book and Simon."

The woman before them looked to be about Inara's age. Simon shook her hand then turned to look away. Beauty here had a definitely different definition here than at Osiris and he felt he had no place to enjoy it so.

"Bashful?" Nandi said bemused. "That's rare. Shepherd, I don't know how many will flock to you, but…"

"I'm here like the rest of the crew to offer help as needed. What would you like me to do?," he said with a gentlemanly bow.

Nandi smiled. "We've some rooms to repair, if you're up to swinging a hammer. Or there's the well that needs repair."

"Living waters are my specialty," Book said with a smile. "If you'll excuse me," he said, again with a bow.

Simon took in the scenery of the place, recognizing it for what it was and more. "How can I be of-?"

"You haven't told me what you can do," Nandi said taking him by the hand and leading him on a tour. "Are you a mechanic like Kaylee, a pilot like Wash, or a pain like Jayne?"

"I'm just a doctor," he said, struggling to still the tremor in the hand she held.

She tightened the hold of the hand and turned to him. "Somehow, I doubt that's all you are." She noted the other hand was empty. "No medical bag?"

Simon chided himself then quickly recovered. "I figured, if anyone might be in need of services in the infirmary…"

She smiled at him. "Relax, Simon. You won't find judgment here except for what you bring upon yourself." She patted his hand. "I do have a young girl, pregnant, who is in need of a checkup. Others might be interested in physicals."

Simon nodded. "I'm at your service," he said.

Nandi kissed him on the cheek. "And I intend to return the favor," she said softly.

---

Petaline was perhaps the most nerve-racked patient Simon had ever dealt with. In a soothing voice, he explained everything he was going to do, step-by-step before doing it. She had finally relaxed as Simon looked over the readings.

"You're set to deliver this child any day now," he said noting the unprofessional phrase in his mind for a fleeting second. "Do you want to know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Petaline bit her lower lip; nodded, shook, and then nodded her head again. "Alls I want, though is, will it be healthy?"

Simon smiled. "This baby girl will be as healthy and I'm sure as beautiful as her mother." The radiance he saw in her face filled him with joy he couldn't quite describe. "What brought you here, might I ask?"

Petaline caressed her pregnant belly. "Nandi is as close to a mother as I have since mine died. She has a heart of gold, Nandi does."

He believed her. Taking a breath, he got up to rummage through the cabinets. "I've some supplements you can take to strengthen your immune system, and the baby's. Is there anything else you'll need or want?"

She shook her head. "What you done told me is more than enough." She paused. "You'll be here long enough to see to her delivery?"

Simon wasn't sure. "Perhaps," he said, making note to ask the Captain about the timeframe. "May I walk you back to the house?"

"The Bordello," she corrected.

He smiled, "I figured you call it 'home.'" Off her look, he matched her smile, taking her by the hand. There were at least four other patients to see, one of them needing surgery. Part of him was hesitant about it. Once he saw Petaline back to the lobby, River snuck up on him and took him outside.

--

"You're more than just a doctor, Simon," she said leaning against his shoulder. "Have faith. You'll heal the broken ones just as you're meant to."

He wished he had her confidence. Right now, he was so relieved and happy to see her so close to whole. He had heard from some of the others that River had helped plant a garden or two and had offered some advice on how to get full yield from the existing and future crops.

"Not whole," she said. "Need the parchments for the fields of copper - mine and ours. After this, though. You need your focus, your confidence."

Simon turned to embrace her. "I have everything I need here." He rested his head against hers, wondering what was going through her mind since she woke up; since they had been on Serenity; now.

"Drink in strength, brother," she said. "Don't focus on the pain." From her skirt pocket, she took out a few berries. "Drink in sweetness," she said as she fed him a berry at a time.

He smiled at her, memories of playing in the garden coming to mind. As quickly as the happy memories came, shades of sadness fell. River took his face in both of her hands, looking at him intently, silently. Words weren't needed as Simon struggled to hold back the tears from his eyes.

For a moment, the siblings watched the prayer meeting Shepherd was holding with a few of the folk by the grove of trees. Simon couldn't hear what was said, but imagined the inspiration provided. River merely watched, probably fully aware of all that was said.

"His belief system is chaotic at best," she said, "systematic nonsense at worse. Too many contradictions, false logistics and misinterpretations exist."

Simon wasn't so sure he agreed, not saying his parents ever brought them to church, unless it was a gala of some sort. "Faith might not be a bad thing, River." Right now, his faith was in finding a secure place in Serenity's solid family, fortified with true affection, like what he saw here.

"Feelings aren't as reliably strong as they should be," she said, stilling his trembling hand. "You've patients to see, brother."

-----

At dinner time, Kaylee snuck up on Simon and wrapped her arms around him. "This was a good day, wasn't it? I mean with all that's happened and such?"

He placed a hand over hers and smiled. "How did your day go?" he asked leaning in to her kiss on his cheek. Ordinarily, he would have pulled away, from the kiss, from her embrace, everything. Yet something drew him to stay.

"Well, Shepherd and I got that pump fixed for the well, and Wash and I found some junkie pieces to create stuff of. All in all, a good day." She sat down beside him. "I heard you done some good, too. Lots, actually."

Simon looked down. "I did what I could. Only thing left is to hopefully deliver Petaline's baby. I've not asked the Captain how long we're staying…"

"I'm sure it be long enough," Kaylee offered. She looked in the direction of the celebration of Nandi's people. "Have you ever… I mean, knowing you probably didn't with Inara, but…"

At this, Simon felt himself blush. "Um…I've not had time to think about such….things. I don't know if I could, though. Could you?"

Kaylee nodded then quickly stopped herself. "It's only natural, I mean it ain't like there's a relationship to be had like that on board Serenity, unless…." She leaned against his chest. "I'd be torn between staying in a place like this and staying with Serenity."

Simon looked at her. "Why is that?"

"This," she said gesturing to their surroundings, "is stable. Yet out in the Black, there's so many possibilities."

"There are possibilities," he said agreeing. His thoughts were focused on how to best keep River on the path of healing. Right now, however… "Can you imagine what the 'verse would be like if there were more people like Nandi or the Captain?" he asked her. He almost added, 'and you,' but thought better of it.

"There are," Kaylee said matter-of-fact. "You just got to knowed how to read people and see it."

------

Mal stood outside the door with the others as Simon and Petaline took care of what nature had control of. The cries of the newborn were music to his ears as the folk gathered with him let out cheers and laughs of joy. If it took one soul to start a ripple-effect of change for the good, well then let this child be one of them, he thought.

Inara caught his eye. He made his way over to her as they left the group behind them, their crew included.

"Think we got all the rest and relaxation we need," he said to her, squinting in the mid-day sun. "Time to move on and find some work proper."

"I'm glad you extended the stay, Mal," she said.

He shrugged. What else was he going to do? Between Shepherd offering guidance, Jayne being outta their hair for a spell, Zoë and Wash getting uninterrupted time alone together for a change and seeing the change in the kids as he hoped… "We needed it," he said.

------

Back on the ship, Simon and River sat on his bed in his room, she reading her letters, he watching her reaction. When she had finished, she took the last envelope and sat beside him. They removed the papers and read them together, River resting against Simon before pulling him against her. Unlike him, she didn't shed a tear.

She knew when it was time to say goodbye. This, sad to say, was more of one than he realized, yet one she knew he knew in the back of his mind. As far as the Tam estate family went, it was just the two of them now.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Serenity/Market

Simon had let his hair grow out again, though not as long as before. He didn't think it did much to change his looks and almost gave thought to growing a mustache but Inara convinced him otherwise. He felt comfortable in the clothes he wore, fitting in more with the others than the life he wanted to avoid ever returning to.

He was aware of River standing behind him, appraising him. "Don't think they'd approve, do you?" he asked, not even wanting to mention their parents by title let alone name.

"They don't matter," she said. "They're still out there, but they don't matter."

Simon felt she held something back that something was itching at the back of his mind. "You're right," he said. "What do you say about joining the others when they go to the market?"

River shook her head. "I'd only go if you go. Since you're not, and that isn't fair…"

He smiled. "It isn't fair for you to be tethered to me, either. The Captain has his reasons for wanting me to stay on the ship and I have mine. You should go. According to Wash, there aren't any notices up for you and that's a good sign."

Mal came into the infirmary smiling. "Good news, Doc. You're not on the 'most wanted' list." Simon and River exchanged looks. "That means, you can join us on this field trip, help us do some shoppin' and some plottin' and such. What do you say?"

River's eager smile, yet slightly bleak, made up Simon's mind the instant the question was asked. "I wouldn't miss it," he said.

Mal gave a curt nod. "Good. You get to go with Jayne."

----

The first place Jayne took Simon to was to a bar for a couple of drinks. Simon kept to his one untouched…he didn't know what it was…drink while Jayne downed his third. It amazed the young man how much Jayne consumed and how it didn't change the other man in the least. The last time Simon had a hard drink, half of one put him under.

"What, the drink's not good enough for you?" Jayne asked indigent.

Simon shook his head. "More the other way around," he said, sliding the cup his protector's way. "I learned my lesson long ago with a Sake or two."

Jayne gave a mischievous smile. "So, what happened, choir boy?"

Before he knew it, Simon had admitted to his 'less-than-perfect' actions as a medcad graduate and how he had possibly bribed an officer not to arrest him or notify his father for singing atop a statue of Hippocrates. Why he confessed it now, let alone to Jayne, he couldn't say. But, the chuckling wasn't malicious or mean; just…Jayne.

"Well, it's good to know you're sober enough to do your trade," said the mercenary.

Simon turned away, aware that the remark wasn't entirely true. "What do we need to get?" he asked, changing the subject.

Jayne took the hint without upset. "You're in charge of infirmary stuffs. Me, I'm looking for some shiny new weapons." He stole a glance before retreating to his drink a spell. "Maybe, you want to look at gettin' a pretty dress."

If anyone else had said that, Simon would have blanched. Instead, he smiled. "I don't know what River might like."

"T'weren't your sister I was thinking of," Jayne said. He paid for the drinks, shaking his head at what the boy didn't drink in before gulping it down himself. "Let's go before Mal gets mad or somethin'."

--

Simon couldn't shake the uneasiness he felt from Jayne who casually, yet not casually looked over his shoulder repeatedly. The younger man couldn't help but wonder if he chose poorly as he carried the parcels they had purchased.

Jayne took him by the arm and pulled him into a nearby alley. "We're gonna get back to the ship, but not with that fella following, _dong ma?_"

Simon nodded. He couldn't figure out exactly who they were avoiding, not getting a sense of what he was after. Part of him felt River's concern for him, thankful that she was with Kaylee and Zoë.

"Let's go," Jayne said, dragging him.

Simon didn't see any threatening folks around, in Alliance dress or otherwise. But he trusted Jayne's instincts, thankful that Jayne had his back.

The crowd increased and Simon found himself separated from Jayne despite the other man's hold. Simon did his best to catch up, or at least keep the mercenary in his sights. Someone bumped into him, forcing him into a side alley.

Simon felt himself tense up as he set to holler out to Jayne. Instead, he yelped as a sharp pain ripped through his thigh. He stared at the trail of blood pouring down his left pant leg until he hit the ground a second later. He hadn't been shot before, so the experience was….excruciating. He bit his bottom lip, determined not to scream again, his eyes squinting against the midday sun. Then a shadow swallowed that up.

"You're a troublesome boy to find, Simon Tam."

Simon looked up at the owner of the shadow and saw a tall man dressed in armor. A bit out of place in a setting like this, he thought as the face grew larger.

"Time to take you home," the man said, picking Simon up by the collar of his shirt.

What Simon sensed from the other man made no sense, as if he was, yet wasn't there. That might have explained why Simon couldn't grasp…"Who are-?"

"Name's Early. Jubal Early, Simon. And your father wants to see you."

Simon shook his head as he struggled to free himself. "He doesn't want to see me."

"Calling your father a liar? Doesn't seem right, does it?" Early twisted an arm behind Simon's back and steered him in the direction they were to go. "I'll let you tell him that."

---

"You're telling me what?"

Zoë shook her head as Jayne repeated himself, dumping the abandoned and battered parcels onto the table. "Boy's gone. I tried to bring him back here safe like and-."

Zoë looked from the captain to the mercenary then back to the captain. She knew Jayne's mistake the moment the dolt did. She would have punched him herself had the captain not beat her to it. She glanced down at the man at her feet before asking, "What do you think we should do, Sir? Marketplace is pretty big."

Book's voice came over the comm. "River's collapsed."

Mal groaned. "Just what we need - two kids down and out."

Wash spoke up. "I can take the mule out there and look for Simon."

Zoë added, "He would have come back on his own if he could."

"Let's look, then, people. No one's getting left."

---

"Did you think your father would discard you like that?" Early asked as he tied Simon's hands behind his back.

"I don't have a father," Simon said defiantly. It angered him that he failed to get help from other passersby in the market before Early pushed him toward another alley.

"That's unkind of you to say. Fathers are those who make us men. And you, boy, are in sore need of such guidance. Of course, if he hadn't asked me to bring you back alive, I'd probably kill you long ago." He shoved Simon down to the floor. "Then again, he didn't say I had to bring you back in one piece, neither."

Simon looked at him uneasily. Someone who would shoot at an unarmed person in an open market in broad daylight wasn't someone who felt the need to be careful.

"That first shot," Early said pointing with the gun," was from your father. Helps keep you from running. Although, I'd have like to see you try. Would have been interesting."

"You didn't give me a chance then," Simon said.

"Enchantment? What would you need enchantment for?" he asked securing Simon's wrists to one of the side bars.

Simon looked at him confused. "I said 'a chance.'"

Early shook his head. "I would have given you a chance if you asked."

Simon looked around Early's craft. Small, one person vessel with cargo space enough for maybe a crate. He suddenly missed Serenity. "Why are you working for my father?"

"Don't work for you father." Early had the craft in orbit and began resetting dials this way and that.

"You just said-."

"I know what I just said, boy. And if you don't be quiet, you won't be saying much more. Don't get paid enough for this job."

"You're a bounty hunter." Simon needed an out of any kind. If it meant promising Early every credit Simon had left, he'd do it.

"I didn't say that."

Simon felt like he was talking in circles. At least he wasn't kicked yet for talking still.

"I'm a bounty hunter, Simon. And the price on your head's just high enough for me to retire. Even have the exclusive." Early turned towards him. "Of course, I prefer life with work. Don't you?"

Simon drew his knees up to his chest doing the best he could to ignore the searing pain in his leg. There was nothing else to talk about and he didn't feel like talking anymore. At some point, he closed his eyes and tuned out the rest of the world around him.

-----

"So he's probably off-world by now," Mal said. He slammed his fist against the table. "Jayne, so help me, I'll shoot you now if you have-."

"I said I'd protect the boy! Not my fault he and I got separated."

Wash turned away from the Cortex and looked at him, astounded. "Oh, right, just like you had nothing to do with his initial problems, either. Mal, there's got to be a clue of some kind for us to follow. No one can just vanish into thin air like that. Can they?"

This time Inara's voice came over the comm. "Something's wrong with River! Get down here now!"

"Ask and ye shall receive," Mal said bitterly.

----

Simon recognized a dilapidated clinical setting when he saw one - a place that dealt with life reeking of death. He noted the various canisters that at one time or another would have done someone some good. Where this was, he wasn't sure. He heard his father's voice and felt his hope fall even as Jubal removed the restraints from his wrists.

"We can have a 'father/son' chat without interruption. What do you say?" Gabriel Tam said; his clean-cut dress a sharp contrast to the surroundings.

Not much to lose, Simon thought. "Go to hell, Sir?"

Early punched him in the stomach. "Show him some respect." To Gabriel, he said, "Your son called you a liar."

"See what I mean, Jubal?" Gabriel said, standing in front of Simon. "My son isn't right in the head. I have to make him well at any cost. Thank you for finding him for me."

"Thought you'd have Benat do this for you," Simon said, eyes watering in pain. "Or did he and the others finally leave you?" He knew the answer but felt the urge to ask anyway, just to hear what his father would say.

Gabriel's smile sickened Simon then. "They left, in a manner of speaking; your fault, you know."

Simon shook his head. "You didn't…"

Gabriel's right hand backhanded Simon with enough force to drop him to the floor, hard. Out of conditioned habit, Simon got back up. Gabriel struck him again, the ring cutting into his face as it had before. Doctor Ismat would be saddened to see his work done for naught, Simon thought as he remained laying there.

"Get up."

Simon knew he should comply, but the idea of an escape plan outweighed other concerns at the moment. He felt as if he never left the prison from the past.

"I said get up," Gabriel repeated.

Jubal grabbed Simon's arms from underneath and lifted Simon to his feet. The bounty hunter's hands locked to secure Simon's head in place. Simon clawed at the other man's hands and arms with little success.

"Father, please…don't." Simon stopped counting the strikes as he watched the blood collect on the floor.

"Let him go, Jubal," his father said.

Simon grabbed the side of the counter to keep from falling down. He leaned heavily on his arms, careful not to put any weight on the left leg. It was an awkward balancing act, and he sensed that his father derived pleasure from it.

"Thankfully, your sister's on sabbatical, Simon. Otherwise, I'd be forced to have Jubal look for her and force her home against her will just to prove you wrong. Should I have him look for her, Simon? Do you want me to do that?"

River. His father didn't know about _mei-mei_, and there Simon drew strength. So long as she was safe with Serenity's crew, whatever happened next wouldn't matter. So he prepared to sell his soul to the devil. "Take me home, father. Please?"

"That's more like it. Of course, it isn't that simple now, is it? You've no idea what you've put your mother and me through. You've no idea what it's been like since you've been gone. And somehow, I doubt you care."

"I…I need your help, father. Please? I'm begging you!" Had River known what he had said aloud, there'd be no doubt which of them was the crazier of the two he thought.

Early kicked the back of Simon's knee. Hands gripping the edge of the counter, Simon pulled himself back up, swearing he'd not let himself pass out from the pain. "Father? Please? I beg you! Help me!"

Gabriel took his son's face with both hands then kissed him on the forehead. "You'll get help, son. You'll get the help you deserve." He took the gun from Early, aimed at Simon's already wounded leg, and fired, forcing the young man to collapse. "That was for the pain you caused your mother."

The older man, returning the gun, stepped back then moved towards the door. To Simon, he said, "It's only fitting that you should suffer here, Simon. Your career, like this place, is nothing more than dust and debris. It's disappointing really, if you think about it." Turning to Jubal Early, he said, "You know what to do." With that, Gabriel turned his back on his son and left.

"Father! No!" Simon body shook as the abandonment set in, left alone with a madman who would have no problem killing him.

"I'm not going to kill you, Simon. Oh, you may wish it, and I may want it, but that's not what your father meant."

Simon did his best to back away from the hunter, subconsciously crawling towards his father, all to no avail.

Early took a recording devise out of his pocket, pressed the record button then began to speak. "I, Jubal Early, will hunt down your sister, Simon Tam, if you should ever try this hide-and-seek game again or cause agony to your parents with this madness. Her body is forfeit to me and I will teach your lesson to her until she cries out for death. By then, you two will be reunited. Her torment will be your fault, and the pain both of you will suffer will end with someone dying. Understand?" He pressed the stop button then placed the device on the counter behind him.

Simon felt the blood boil in his veins. "You sick, twisted, son-of-a-wh-."

Early kicked him in the jaw. "Don't go insult my mother. Don't ever." He knelt down and put his face close to Simon's. "You're going to wish for death. But your father intends to take you home, in time, alive. Not well, but alive."

Simon heard the crashing of containers and shattering of glass as he weaved in and out of consciousness, trying not to choke on his own blood. When Simon hit bottom, Early responded with smelling salts to yank him back. Simon thought it would never end, surprised yet exhausted by the time Early put a pillow under his head and then covered him with a blanket.

"The sweet irony of your father's order was to leave you lying here in this place of healing, in this place where no one can help you. Say it. 'No one can help you.'"

Simon expected to wake up in his prison home and be told all of it was a dream. He expected to learn that Malcolm Reynolds, Shepard Book, Inara and the others were figments of his imagination, that everything that had happened was nothing but the result of a delusional mind.

"Say it."

He thought about where he'd gone wrong, where he made poor choices, bad arguments, and just flat out awful… "No…one…can…help…me."

"That's right. You'll be back where you belong in no time, after you've been given time to think about things. Understand?" Simon nodded, aware of the tears on his face before darkness enveloped him.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Serenity

"Take me home, father. Please."

Inara brushed the hair out of River's face. River's quarters were a bit crowded with the two of them there, along with Kaylee and Shepherd. Mal leaned in from the doorway. "She's not making eye contact; she's clenching her leg as if someone hurt her… Mal, where's Simon?" Inara said.

"Wish I knew, Inara, wish I knew." He watched as a seizure racked River's body then go limp again. If what he guessed earlier was correct… He hoped he was right and wrong at the same time.

Book looked over his shoulder. "Tried to give her a soother, but she wouldn't have it."

"Don't bother," Mal said, River's body coming back to life. The captain knelt beside her, bracing himself to ask the necessary question.

"I…I need your help, father, please? I'm begging you!"

It pained Mal to hear the desperation in the girl's voice. No pain in the 'verse, save a battlefield, could possibly compare with what he heard and saw. If what he guessed this Gabriel Tam to be like were true, then what in the black could River, Simon or anyone want from a man like him? "Where is he, River?" Mal asked.

"Father? Please? I beg you! Help me!"

Inara struggled to hold River still during the seizure but failed. Zoë took over, not fully restraining the girl, but keeping her from further harm.

"What do we do, Mal?" Inara asked. Alarm was hard to miss in the companion's voice given how long the wrestling had gone on.

Simon would probably know, if he were here, Mal thought ruefully. "River, where is Simon?"

"You'll get the help you deserve," she said in a voice that was not her own. An attack so violent and unexpected forced all in the room to keep the girl from banging into anything. She gained consciousness as quickly as she lost it, each awakening crueler than the previous.

"River! Where's Simon?" He had half a mind to slap her if he thought it would do any good.

She pulled away from him and Zoë and crawled towards the infirmary. When anyone tried to pick her up, she struck back, hard.

Not setting foot within, River pointed into the empty room with a trembling hand and whispered, "No…one…can…help…me." With that, she collapsed momentarily.

After a while, she pulled herself up and made her way to the Bridge, Wash, Mal and the others close on her heels. She punched in some coordinates as Wash took his seat. Finished, she turned to Mal and said, "Save him." At those words, Wash put Serenity into hard burn.

--

"Wash?!"

"Almost there, Captain," the pilot said. The idea that Simon could be so close and yet so far… He was just thankful that luck had been with them in leaving New Melbourne and heading in the right direction, given the possibilities; thankful that River was gifted….but what if it would be a curse later on?

"Wash!"

Wash looked at the instruments with one eye while his hands fiddled with the cortex in an effort to call anyone there. No ships in orbit, no visible life seen on the screen… Yet Wash couldn't shake the ill feeling…

"What do we have?" Mal asked, leaning over Wash's shoulder.

"Trouble," Wash said. "As in, you guys better bring guns, trouble."

Jayne let out a series of curses in Chinese as he surveyed the scene. Blood and the like was everywhere in the dusty setting. "Ain't no one survive something like this, Mal." Jayne continued to search the room, kicking objects aside as his foot found them. "Looks like a gorram war zone, that's what this is. 'Nough blood to bleed someone bone dry." A pile of cloths were in his way now. They didn't move. "Mal!"

Mal was at his side in an instant. "What-?" As soon as he pulled back the cloth over the unmoving heap, Mal let out a string of curses of his own. "Simon!"

"He's dead, Mal," Jayne said. "Gotta be. Ain't no way anyone could-."

"Shut up!" Mal said, standing up then shoving Jayne clear across the room. "He ain't dead! He ain't!" He dropped to his knees and checked for a pulse. "You better be breathing, son," he whispered.

Zoë's near-silent gasp said it all for Mal as he continued to pull the cloth off the body. The leg wound looked downright nasty as did the rest of the leg. The cheek was open again, too, caked with the dust and dirt of this place. Mal wondered if this was how Shepherd found him after Jayne had beaten the boy up in the alley.

"He's been shot twice," Zoë said, lowering herself for a closer look. "He's lost a lot of blood."

"Let's see if we can't mend him," Mal said.

Jayne grunted. "In this filth? With what, dreams and wishes?"

Zoë added, "How do you know what we've got left to work with?"

River spooked them all as she leaned in, barefoot, and said softly, "Bring him home. There's nothing here."

Jayne took a step forward to follow, but the look Zoë gave him stopped him cold. She followed Mal as he carried Simon back to the ship not taking her eyes off Jayne until he was no longer in view.

Jayne reluctantly stayed behind. "Looks like a gorram war zone," he said to himself again.

He went over to where a cylinder fell, knocked off a counter as Mal carried the boy. Looked a lot like the one that Tracey fella had with him. Knowing the others wouldn't hear it, Jayne pushed play. What he heard made his blood turn cold and his heart burn with vengeance.

---

Book stood guard at the infirmary door, the Bible in his folded arms. He didn't know who he wanted to kill first – the bounty hunter responsible for this; the father for pushing it to this point; or Jayne for abandoning Simon at the market in the first place.

In another life, Derrial Book would have gone after all three without remorse. As a Shepherd, he knew he should feel guilt over such thoughts. He didn't.

His hands clenched around the Bible a mite tighter than necessary. Looking over his shoulder, he drew solace at the scene before him, both amazing and affectionate. Kaylee slept in a chair she pulled up to the side of the bed, Simon's hand in one of hers. River lay next to Simon, a protective arm across him, her hand overlapping Kaylee's. How River maintained her balance beside her brother on the medical bed was beyond him. How the boy even survived the ordeal was simply a miracle - again.

He had no doubt that River was a reader, given what he knew about her brother. Book suspected that Simon thought that as well, after the earlier results from Ismat's clinic. But the boy said nothing. No need to keep that secret much longer, Book thought. He turned toward the approaching footsteps. "G'evening, Captain."

Mal nodded his greeting. "How is he?"

"As expected, after such an ordeal, I suppose." Both men stepped in, leaned against the countertop, arms folded, and watched the I.V. unit deliver the drugs Simon needed, drop by drop. Neither man said anything to the awe they and the others held as River had taken charge in regards to her brother's surgery; Mal and Zoë following the orders the young girl gave.

Some time passed before Mal spoke up. "What kind of parent does that to their own flesh and blood?"

"One who will die a special kind of death," Book said.

Mal grunted, not surprised by the preacher's comment. "Care if I send him on his ruttin' way, then?"

"If we find him," Book said, eying Mal for a reaction.

"When. I intend to find him and that bounty hunter."

Book shook his head. "Do that, Ahab, and you might be consumed by the whale." Again, Mal grunted. Book continued, "I've been reading the boy's journal and-."

Mal turned at this and in mock admonishment said, "Shame on you, Preacher! Ain't that akin to stealing?"

"Perhaps," Book said. "Then again, thought it might give insight to his actions."

Sitting on the counter, Mal asked, "Why do you think his father left him? If he wanted the boy back so bad, why leave him, if he was indeed there?"

Book shook his head. "Don't know, Mal. As far as that man's actions go, unpredictability would be predictable."

"That be a mite ironic, don't you think?"

Book shrugged. "Right now, I'd say our chief concern would be that bounty hunter's return."

"Think he would?"

"I'm afraid so." Book walked to the bed, adjusted the I.V. unit and then walked back. "I sense this hunter's a bit determined, demented; just like the man who hired him."

"Don't matter which one comes for him, they ain't getting him."

"What if someone comes after River? What if someone within the Alliance knows of her gifts?"

Mal leaned forward, determination in his eyes, looking from one sibling to the other. "Ain't getting her, neither."

------

Simon woke to see River smiling at him. "_Mei-mei_," he said returning her smile.

"Hey." She brushed his hair to one side. "Better?

He made a face as he thought about what had happened, aware of the tube in his arm, the lights in the infirmary. It could have been worse, he decided. "Yeah." He took her hand with his free one. "Better." Intertwining his fingers with hers, he continued. "I thought I lost you."

"You thought no one would help you," she added.

He frowned. "That, too."

"Well, then you're a dummy." She kissed him on the cheek. "We won't be lost, ever again."

"I wish I can believe that, River."

"It's true. So, you have to believe it, all right?"

"All right," he said, giving in to the drugs dripping into his system.

------

Zhi Ismat looked down at the patient he swore he had seen for the last time during their previous visit. It was his luck that his path of travel wasn't too far from Serenity's. At this rate, one of them was bound to end up near Mr. Universe's territory, or worse, Reaver territory.

"What are you trying to do to me, Mal?" the doctor asked, examining the stitches. He was impressed by the precision and felt he knew who was responsible. He adjusted the I.V. that helped replace the remaining lost blood.

"Thought you mighta missed us," Mal deadpanned. "That and the boy only trust you with his pretty face."

Zhi smiled. The stitching job was an improvement from last time. He surveyed the damage, settling on the appropriate splint necessary for the leg. "He's not going to like being immobilized for a spell," Zhi said, handing Mal some stronger painkillers and muscle-builders. "Keep him in one place if possible; none of this traveling up and down stairs, _dong le ma_?"

Mal gave a chagrinned smile. "That might be easier said than done. But, we'll do it." He took a few steps closer to the patient, still asleep. "Anything else you can tell us?"

Zhi nodded, his mood changing slightly for the better. "You might find these a bit o'help." He gave Mal a duffle bag and some files. "You could stand a chance of getting into St. Lucy's Hospital on Ariel and get a thorough scan of River's brain."

Mal gave him a look as he rummaged through the bag's contents. "With or without Simon, seeing as how he can make sense at them machines they got?"

"Shepherd will take his place. He stands a better chance of recalling that info than Cobb, that's for sure."

Mal shook his head. "How would we get River in there without setting off any alarms?"

Zhi nodded towards the bag. "There are fake idents in there for you all. Just wheel her in as a patient and you should be fine."

Mal looked at the collection. "There ain't one here for the preacher," he said, counting out four badges.

"What you need is there. I've had some pull with a few folks on the inside, too, so you guys will be all right." Before Mal could ask, Zhi explained, "I'd have set you up with this stuff sooner, but I wasn't entirely sure if Cobb could be trusted. Nothing personal, but I made my decision."

Mal nodded. "Any particular speech to memorize or anythin' like that?"

Zhi shook his head. "If you want to keep the boy occupied, you can have him create a script for you. But, my team on the inside will see you through, from start to finish. You, Zoë and Wash should have no problem, f_ahng-sheen_."

"Don't worry?" Mal repeated incredulously. "You're asking me to take my crew into the heart of an Alliance hospital with faith in your people on the other side and you're asking me not to worry." He shook his head. "I can only take so much on-."

"On faith?" Zhi offered.

"On a fella's word," Mal said giving him a look. "Fine. Say we pull this off, get her in there and out again. What does that get us?"

Zhi crossed his arms. "More information that will keep your doctor occupied, which will in turn help you heal the girl. Anything else?"

Mal shook his head again. "Want me to make you king of Persephone, complete with shiny hat while we're at it?" he asked. Seriously, he said, "If you're sure we can do it, we will. But, if anything goes wrong…"

"It won't," Zhi said. "_Fahng-sheen_."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Serenity

"So, this 'fields of copper' bit of your sister's got anything to do with your 'Davy' side of things?" Mal asked. Part of him knew the answer based on the somber mood after they left Nandi, but wanted to let the boy know he knew.

Simon nodded. "She's taking it better than I did," he said.

"You've had more time with them; it's expected," Mal explained. "So, want to hear something funny?" Simon nodded, so Mal told him of the plan Ismat cooked up.

Simon gave Mal a look that almost had the captain laughing in stitches. "You're going to do what?"

"You heard me. Doc's idea, really," Mal said handing Simon the book he was reaching for. "Look, your sister will be fine. Zoë and I will be by her side and Wash is our getaway pilot. What more could you want?"

"Besides foolishly joining this caper?" Simon sighed. "Any concerns about the plan?"

Mal shrugged his shoulders. "We got the costumes, we got the props."

"Do you want a possible script?"

The Captain nodded. "That would be handy coming from you, seeing as how you knowed how things s'posed to sound in there." Simon furrowed his brow. "What is it?" Mal asked pulling up a chair beside the bed.

"Do you want to make this an incredibly profitable job?" Simon asked, a corner of his lip turning up into a wry grin. "There's a med vault filled with liquid straw that you could turn into gold."

Mal folded his arms, curious as to where this could go. "Go on," he said leaning back.

For the next couple of hours, Simon lay out the plan on how to talk the talk, walk the walk, and leave with a mule-full of medicine worth bringing to the rim. Mal couldn't help but leave the young man's room impressed by his crafty plan.

--------

True to Zhi Ismat's word, the experience of getting in and out of the hospital went as planned. Mal was impressed with Doctors Espenson and Whiting, who not only got the team to the level they needed to be, but with Nurse Peristere's offer to help with the operating of the machine. Espenson led Zoë to the med vault. Evidently the good doctor's 'love of the Alliance' in regards to lack of treatment for rim folks left a bitter taste in the doc's craw, too.

The whole process took less time than Mal feared. Again, fate was on their side as the crew got what they needed and left without incident. Of course, the fact that the Shepherd got away with his own ident card was a mite curious for the captain.

Book approached him in the galley that evening. "Seems things are going smoothly," he told Mal as he prepared a light meal.

Mal nodded in agreement. "Don't expect that to last, though." A number of questions arose in regards to the preacher and Mal had yet to decide which ones he wanted answers to first.

"Why not? What's wrong about seeing hope for a change instead of headache?"

"I don't mind when things go smooth," Mal said, "it's just that…It's hard to trust this to last long, that's all." Mal nodded in Book's direction as he prepared a bowl. "How's Simon doing?"

"Quite well, considering," Book said. "He's drinking in that data like a thirsty man would water while in a desert."

Now was the time to ask the other question at hand, Mal decided. "How long have you knowed River to be a reader?"

Book didn't look up. "I didn't. However, if you're interested…" This time, the Shepherd made eye contact. "Simon's an empath."

Mal could have felt his jaw drop to the ground as he caught Zoë walking off to the passenger dorms.

----------

River looked up from her drawing, ready to accept the medicine her brother gave her, but not before sticking her tongue out at him. She had become his eyes and ears while he remained on the cargo bay/dorm room level. Once in a while, she'd catch him trying to walk from one end of the couch in the common area to the other, often without using his crutches. She chided him for this.

"Do you want to be broken again?" she asked, taking the cup of tea in her hands.

Simon gave her a look of annoyance. "I'm fine, _mei-mei._ Honest." He accepted her offer of the cup; took a sip then gently pushed it towards her. "How are _you_ feeling?"

River nodded, setting the cup down on the table. "Better. The madness isn't as bad as what you faced for me in the dark tomb." She glanced at him with pitying eyes. "You're afraid that the poisons will infect the blood again, confuse the mind." He nodded. "Don't be. You're doing what you're meant to do, even if it isn't where you thought it would be."

With steeled-determination, River kept the tears from streamed down her face as she came to a realization. "You died so I could live. You endured a prison to find us a home."

_"Mei-mei_!" he cried, pulling her into an embrace. The anger, guilt and admiration he felt from her burned against him. "You _saved _me. Never forget that. What _you_ endured…" Simon would have felt ashamed for the number of times he had cried had he been in that other life. Here, in the Black, possibilities abounded and judgments were few, thinking back on Kaylee's and Nandi's words.

Arms tightly around his neck, she continued, "The voices aren't as mean as before, either. I still hear them, but only when I sleep badly."

He combed his fingers through her hair. "Any side effects?" he asked, aware that this was probably the fifth time he had changed the combination on her.

She shook her head. "I'll get better. I know it. You'll find a way. So will the others." Pulling away from him, she wiped away his tears. "They know," she said finally.

He gave her a confused look. "Who knows what, River?"

"That you know." She paused, trying not to sigh like an impatient instructor. "You know what others feel. You respond to it, react to it. That's what drains you; strengthens you to heal others so well."

Simon shook his head, not having given it any thought before. It seemed like a mystery or maybe one of her games to distract him from his limited wanderings. "River, I-."

"You know this. You've known yet never questioned it." River trapped his hand as it began to tremor. "Why didn't you listen when you were imprisoned, you're wondering." He looked at her, silently waiting. "You were right; they didn't matter, so there was nothing to see. If you had, you'd have drowned in her tears or burned in his hate."

"River…" He didn't want to dwell on the past. Just having his father confirm his worse fear, despite Shepherd's reassuring words in the beginning… "We're home now," he told her.

She looked at him. "He spoke truth as he knew it then. Had hoped Benat succeeded. Even then, part of him knew time was limited," she said. "His other life… He'll see us through the forest, Simon. He'll keep the lion away from us."

Simon felt her fury at that last item, felt it scald him within and without. He pulled her towards him never the less and held on tightly. "I know, _mei-mei. _I know." If he could only absorb her pain, he thought; absorb it, make it his own then abolish it completely.

"You don't know," she said. "They never wanted to know. She still doesn't know."

This time, the searing heat pierced him through the heart. "Help me learn, then," he said softly, soothingly. "Please?"

River shook her head vigorously against him. "Don't want you to die."

He smiled grimly. "If I lose you again, I already have," he told her.

------

Wash sat beside his wife at the table. "What's troubling you, dear?"

Zoë turned to her husband. "Mal."

"Oh," he said with mock dismissal. "Is that all? I'd have worried if he wasn't worrying you."

She slapped him, none to gently either. "We had a talk, about the Tams." Off his look, she added, "I told him how long I suspected, about Simon, I mean. He didn't take too kindly to that. Add that to River's talent…"

Wash took hold of both of her hands. "Sweetheart, that doesn't make either one of them a threat to us or this crew, that they're a part of, may I remind you? So, they're gifted. So's Kaylee. So are you. Me, I'm just lucky."

"What if our luck runs out and someone wants to steal away our gifted ones, Wash? I know I'm ready to fight, but…"

He searched her face, aware of the unspoken fear that had never been discussed often in private. "Dear…"

"What were we fighting for? Huh? Look at what the Alliance decided to go and do to an innocent girl! What if they're still…?" Zoë shook her head in frustration. "I just feel the need to kill someone, honey. Ignore me."

Wash gave her a troubled look. "Not if I'm your intended target, sorry."

She smiled ruefully. "That's the soldier side talking."

"No, that's the maternal side speaking," Wash corrected. "Look, you protect; I worry. It's what we do best. They'll be fine, just as we've always been. You'll see."

-------

Inara finished styling Kaylee's hair. "Is there anything else you'd like for your date this evening?" she asked the mechanic.

Kaylee beamed at the style, never once figurin' on putting her hair up like that. "Just a dress," she said, regretting not owning one.

Inara smiled. "You know, I've the perfect one-," she said, before the captain's voice interrupted them.

"Hey," Mal said, hands behind his back, "I want my hair done, too. Maybe add some color, some curls…" He stopped, given Inara's glare. To Kaylee, he said, "I'm a bit slow and givin' back to folks what's theirs." He held out a dirty package to her. "This might go with your new do."

Kaylee carefully undid the package and then let out a low whistle. "I can't… It's too pretty! I mean it's…" She hugged Inara then Mal before she could say anything else.

Chuckling, Mal said, "You're welcome. Although, I'd save your thanks for a certain doctor downstairs."

---

Simon would have gladly gone upstairs, crawled even, to join the others for dinner just once. However, his sister, the loveable brat that she was, sat guard daring him to try it. So, he sat in the common area, again, wondering if he could make it over to the weights at least, just for some resistance training.

"Hey, there."

He looked up and saw Kaylee descend the stairs, his mouth opened in awe as he took in her appearance. Closing it before she could see him for the fool he was, he said quickly, "Hey, there yourself." He stood up painfully. "What's the occasion?"

Kaylee sat beside him, amused that he waited for her 'til he sat down himself. "Just figured you don't like bein' alone so often, that's all. That and to thank you for the pretty dress."

"You're welcome." He smiled. "Well, one of these days, I'll find myself out of purgatory and join you in the realm of angels above," he said. "You're as beautiful as one, you know."

She blushed. "Thank you. I, um, didn't bring you supper proper, but figured you might like…like a dessert."

He chuckled, aware that she came down empty-handed. "I'm flattered. Undeserving, actually, but flattered just the same." Simon rose carefully, aware that he should have taken more painkillers had he known this was going to happen. He bowed slightly then asked, "May I have this dance, Ms. Kaywinnit Lee Frye?"

Kaylee let out a squeal as she took his hand and led him to the open space of the common area. The dance was slow, cautious, yet perfect all the same. Even if all they did was two-step from side to side, Kaylee felt as if she were the center of attention at a ball.

Simon smiled at her, feeling her happiness. "Someday," he said, "we should look into attending such a fancy gathering somewhere, maybe on Persephone; don't you think so? Maybe Inara could put in a good word or sneak us in through the back door."

"We don't need to be doin' no sneakin' around," she said, surprised that he spun her around. "We've what we need here."

"That we do," he said, stopping for a moment. Kaylee helped him sit down before joining him.

She looked at him, concerned. "The pain getting better or worse?"

"Better," he lied. "I'd just rather be able to run up and down those stairs sooner than my body, or sister, will allow that's all." He leaned his head back and sighed. "Just when I thought I could finally go forward…. Talk about failing," he said.

"Not so," Kaylee said. "Last time you took baby steps, we only sat and talked. Tonight…" She paused, smiling. "Tonight, we danced."

He smiled back at her, not wanting the moment to end. "And in time, we'll dance even longer," he said before kissing her on the cheek.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Persephone

Inara Serra shook her head, feeling beside herself as Mal continued with his counter-proposal. "Look, if Badger says it will pay-."

Inara laughed. "We have reason to trust him _this_ time because…?" She didn't want a job of hers to be entangled with his. "Look, would you at least listen to a _legitimate_ job offer for once? Or will that hurt your male ego?"

Mal tried a stare-down but lost as soon as she fluttered her eyelashes. "Fine! But, I think we should consider how the others would react to another week of idleness if it don't pan out. You know what the preacher done say about such things…"

Inara's look bordered on 'oh-please' and 'don't-even-try-it.' "Mal, not everyone in the 'verse is out to plot their next heist or relive a 'Robin Hood' phase. If you put in as much time towards job hunting as you do planning your insults of me, I'm sure you'd have had enough for a ranch of your own by now."

Mal bristled at the comment. "I'll meet this fella of yours and I'll listen to his offer. But, nothin' says I have to take it if I don't like it." It seemed for a moment that he'd go on with his verbal tantrum had River not stood at the door. "If you'll excuse me," he said, trying to maintain a look of annoyance on his face.

Both women watched him go before Inara spoke up. "What can I do for you, _mei-mei?_"

River continued looking in the direction Mal had left then said, "He doesn't want to embarrass you."

Inara bit back a smile. She gathered that herself but saw no need to say it aloud. "We're talking about _you_," Inara reminded her.

"I'm free, but I don't have a place here, like you, like Simon." River sat on the bed and let her hand run over the material of the bed coverings. "I want to contribute, but the way I know how makes him nervous."

"Who, sweetie?" Inara asked, picking up a brush to do River's hair. "If it's Mal, don't worry about him. He's-."

"He's protective like a good father," River said relaxing a bit with each stroke. "It's Simon."

Inara smiled. "That's what brothers tend to do, especially older ones." She decided to change the subject to a happier one. "Do you want to go to a dance with me, River? I haven't thought about arranging an escort for you just yet, but…"

River hid a faint smile. "My escort still owes you a dance; you said so."

Inara blushed. "I was only teasing him then, River. Are you sure you want to attend with Simon?"

River nodded carefully. "I'll be his left side. Kaylee belongs on his right."

"I don't know if that's how-."

River continued as though Inara hadn't said anything. "Sir Lawrence Murphy won't mind. It won't hurt him, us being there. In fact, it will help him, and us." She paused. "The captain hasn't figured out how to accept the unknown invitation without losing face."

Inara began braiding River's hair. The young girl's insights didn't disturb her in the least. "You're certain we're going," she said, more as a statement than a question.

"I know it." River began playing with some beads that were within reach. "Just like I know my brother will honor his debt."

-------------

Wash couldn't believe it. "An invite to an honest-to-goodness party, with legitimate entry! Honey, I wish I bought you a slinky dress!"

Zoë smiled, touched by his comment. "That's all right. We'd need weaves and other medical supplies more than I do a dress if the captain gets himself involved in another mess."

Mal came up behind them. "I heard that! And because I'm such a mean old man," he dug into his pocket and handed some currency to Wash. "See to it that your wife has the slinkiest dress that ever was, will ya?"

Wash refused to contain his excitement as Zoë gave him a look that asked whether or not the captain lost his mind. "We get to go shopping!" Wash said. "Hope you don't need the mule," he called over his shoulder as he led his wife by the hand towards the door.

Book stepped out of his room at the sound of Wash's voice. "I take it a rare act of kindness has just taken place?" he asked, Bible in hand as usual.

"Yep," Mal said still looking their way until the door closed. He looked Book in the eye and deadpanned, "How many sins does that buy off?"

Book pretended to ponder it a moment. "It _might_ cover the lie of omission."

Mal narrowed his eyes. "I want to treat my first officer and pilot to a night on the town and you say I'm neglecting telling them something? That hurts, preacher. Next, I 'spose you'll find fault in my treating the mechanic and medic a chaperoned outing, too."

Book nodded. "That and abandoning a young one who wants to be by her brother's side."

"You've said nothin' 'bout Jayne," Mal pointed out.

"Neither did you," countered Book. "Who does Inara have you set to meet up with tonight?"

Mal tried to recall. "A fella named Warren Harrock."

"Sir Warrick Harrow," Book corrected. "He's an honorable gentleman." At this, Book narrowed his eyes. "The fact that Inara recommended you to carry out a job for him…"

"Hey!" Mal said. "Now that does hurt! Keep it up and I'll have to set you up being all ironical and the like." He clarified, "You in need of yourself."

Book smiled. "Clever." With that, the older man went upstairs just as Kaylee came running down.

"Cap'n!"

Mal shook his head. "You go break a leg now, don't 'spect Doc to share his crutches witcha."

She laughed. "You're funny. Can we see if we can get a catalyzer this time? Please? I'll sell my dress if it helps!"

"_Tsai boo shr!_" Mal said. "No way! Little Kaylee, I'm not lettin' my mechanic dance a la natural at some fancy party. No, you deserved that dress. T'was Doc's money anyhow, so it be him you'd hurt most."

Kaylee swayed from side to side like a school-child. "Could we at least try for a catalyzer? Pretty please?"

Mal sighed. "Fine, we can try. But, no cryin' if we can't get one; got it?"

"Oh, no, Cap'n, I'll let you save the cryin' for you when you knowed we need one." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank ya!" With that, she bounded up the stairs as cheery as ever.

Shaking his head, Mal couldn't help but wonder if her lighthearted comment was a possibly ominous bit.

---------

Inara walked arm-in-arm with Malcolm Reynolds, asking herself for the umpteenth time why she didn't enter with a proper client instead. Well, she had a client, but she'd postpone catching up with him until after she saw Mal safely to his meeting.

She had asked him earlier why Jayne hadn't been approached to escort either River or Kaylee into the ball, not liking the idea of Simon having the responsibility of both. Yet, she knew that wasn't going to be the case. And Mal's answer of laughter matched her own reaction to the absurdity of the thought in the first place.

Inara scanned the crowd and found whom she sought. Of the two siblings, River, dressed in a simple, loose dress that Simon bought her that still looked elegant on her, floated about the room with ease, not hesitating to meet each person she encountered. Simon, on the other hand, kept to a corner, watching Kaylee as she animatedly took part in a discussion about machines and the like with some gentlemen on the other side of the room.

The Companion noticed how Sir Murphy caught Simon's eye and gave a quick nod of greeting or reassurance; she couldn't tell which as their host made his way to them.

Inara made the necessary introductions and then excused herself from the men's company to meet Simon half-way as he tried to walk in her direction, cane in hand.

"I thought you came here with two lovely ladies," Inara said. "What are you doing playing the part of wallflower?"

Simon smiled sheepishly as he leaned his cane against the wall. "Saving up my strength for a dance with another lovely lady," he said as he bowed before her. "May I have this honor?"

Inara smiled demurely. "I told River…"

"I'm a man of my word. Just wanted to wait for the right moment to enjoy," he said, leading her to the fringe of the dance floor.

Inara was impressed, knowing she shouldn't have been. Even if his movements were limited, the grace remained. He had the same Alliance education she did; knew his parents were in the same upper echelon of society that Sirs Murphy and Harrow were apart of, maybe a bit lower, but still…

She couldn't help but be impressed with his strength in hiding the pain with each step, his body giving nothing away, not even a tremor of his hands. Part of her wondered if there would ever be a chance to smuggle him back into the life he should have led.

As soon as the music ended, Inara curtseyed then backed away. "This was a….pleasure. Thank you, Simon."

He bowed, kissing her lightly on the back of the hand. "The pleasure was mine," he said softly. Straightening up, he gave a faint smile, retrieved his walking stick and then sought out one of his companions. Inara watched after him as Malcolm came up beside her.

"I'd say we raised our boy right, wouldn't you?" he said sincerely. He offered Inara his arm. "I've a tough act to follow, but…" Mal led her out to the middle of the dance floor and did the best he could in keeping up with the complicated steps.

At dance's end, they walked towards the punch bowl, turning to admire the hovering chandelier. "Well," he said, "as you can see, I taught the boy everything I knowed."

Inara chuckled. "I'm sure you did," she said. Nodding her head towards the other side, she said, "There's Sir Warrick Harrow." Once I introduce you two, do you promise to behave yourself? Or should I remain by your side, knife at the read to stab you?"

Mal looked at her, a goofy grin on his face. "Why, _bao bay_, I think we're about to make our other married couple jealous with spousal support like that. I'm touched."

Inara rolled her eyes as she pulled him toward their intended target.

--

Simon found his sister and leaned close to whisper something in her ear. Before he could say anything, she said, "It is, for both of us." He glanced at the floor, embarrassed.

Her voice in his head was something he felt increase daily, accepting it without question as she said earlier and suspected that this bond would only get stronger in time. For now, River decided what she would allow him to 'hear.' She 'told' him things before others would aboard Serenity. And each time, he made it a point of being surprised at this 'first time' mentioning.

This dance, for example… He knew the name Sir Lawrence Murphy had created for him before anyone else, because River knew it first. Yet, he enjoyed the conversations spoken aloud, just to hear her voice if anything. Focusing on the present, he said, "No I want you to stay. I'm just tired, that's all."

River kissed his cheek. "Kaylee wants to dance again. It's been too long."

He gave her a wistful smile, thankful that his sister humored him in this, knowing her answer to his unspoken thought about whether or not he wanted this…bond to end or be controlled. "You're right."

"Always am," she said, helping herself to more fresh fruit before making up her mind about whom to chat with next. "Dance first. Sleep later," she told him.

Sir Lawrence Murphy approached Simon with Kaylee at his side. "I do believe you're on this elegant woman's dance card, sir," Murphy said with a slight bow.

Graciously, Simon accepted Kaylee's offered hand and led her to the rest of the dancers, not as close to the fringe as before, but not in the center, either.

The Washburnes stood beside Murphy, watching the young couple dance. "Don't they make a cute couple, dear?" Wash asked his wife.

Zoë, feeling very feminine in her new dress, nodded approvingly. "Now to find a way to multiply the days," she said.

Murphy nodded. "Your doctor's safe here; you have my word. None of my guests are the sort to turn him in. If they were, they certainly wouldn't be my friends much longer." He adjusted his sash to remove something from an inner pocket. "This is for him. Use it as you see fit."

Zoë examined the new ident card. "Thank you," she said. "It was very generous of you to-."

Murphy waved her off. "I like a house-full of happy folks. That, and I wasn't about to miss a possible visit with a lovely Companion. If you'll excuse me," he said. Murphy walked to meet Inara as she waited by the musicians then stopped to add, "Whatever you need, this house is your house - anything."

Wash took that as his cue to grab another plateful of food. "Oh, come on, _bao bay_, why are you about to worry?"

Zoë tucked the ident card inside of her dress. "Sweetheart, who says I'm about to worry?"

"We're married, remember? I hope I know you better than Mal."

Zoë momentary looked around the room before answering. "Then, you wouldn't be surprised if I said that our luck will probably turn for the worse?"

Wash shook his head. "Larry screens his guests through that force field, dear. No one's armed here and Mal's on his best behavior, which is saying…" His voice trailed off as he watched the same person that caught his wife's eye. "I hate it when you're right."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Persephone

River Tam approached the enigma before her, uncertain why useless people like him existed. She was aware of the fact that their host hadn't invited this little, farm-dwelling fire ant in; its wings sorely out of place amongst the butterflies. While he was an ant posturing himself to be what he wasn't, she saw the true threat he possessed – as a wasp. While the wasp might not have admitted it, River knew he realized.

When she glanced at her brother, she knew he'd know, too. Simon did right in what he did, in following her suggestion by accepting Sir Murphy's offer of a place to rest. Now it was her turn to make certain her brother didn't break. If he broke, how would the Butterflies' Ballet continue?

In her best accent fitting this fool's worth, she curtseyed as she said, "Pardon me, sir? Might I have your company?"

Atherton Wing turned and eyed the waif of a girl before him. She was _gos se_ at best, nothing at least. But, she was certainly pleasing to other needs he had in mind. "Certainly," he said, linking arms with her.

River laughed inwardly as she danced around him, before him, above him, but more importantly, beyond him. She knew she was free. He didn't know that he'd no longer be. River was bored by this little man, who was, in her opinion, littler than the one they called pester or badger. At least that one had aimed to better himself and not hide behind a pretense as her parents had.

She knew where he worked, knew he was scheming for an advantage, not realizing he focused on the wrong Tam. River could kill him now if she wanted; she'd be justified, too. Had Sir Murphy not sent for Inara, the Companion would be with this monster instead.

No, there was a time and place for everything. Now, she was done dancing.

---------

When the party returned to the ship, Kaylee happy with the new part for Serenity; Wash and Zoë refreshed from another evening together and Mal and Inara returning argument free, Simon hadn't felt such joy since…

He turned and saw Book standing at the door as if on his way out. "We have a problem."

Simon turned to look for River only to hear her 'tell' him, '_Gone hunting for the hunter.'_ Simon heard Book say, not in so many words, what he just learned.

"He's found our bounty hunter. I aimed for a knee cap to slow him down, but-."

"How long ago?" Mal said, shedding his Sunday best jacket for his regular one. He double-checked his gun and nodded to Zoë who was already on her way to change.

"You just missed him."

It was then that Simon felt the full wave of pain from their speaker. He bolted for the Shepherd just as the older man began to crumble to the deck.

What had started as a small gunshot wound covered by a jacket on the front looked… Simon muttered first a curse then a prayer as the others helped him rush Book to the infirmary.

It was all Simon could do to focus on his friend before him as he was bombarded by everyone else around him. To make matters worse, his hands began to tremble again. Simon wiped the sweat pouring down his brow as he steadied his focus on the shrapnel just below the Shepherd's heart.

The others were getting in the way, save the Captain who had gone after Jayne. He couldn't get past the anger, the worry, the…

"Everyone out. Now."

Bless Zoë, he thought as the cacophony dwindled down to two different threads - one strong and supportive, the other terribly weak. He felt a hand on his shoulder along with a rush of stability. With a new resolve, Simon set out to do the best he could do save the one who had saved him.

-----

River shielded herself from her brother, knowing that if he knew where she was, and why she had done what she did earlier… No, he needed…. She knew Mal was close by as they ran further and further from any buildings, homes or much of anything else.

She didn't have to ask the Captain permission - knew it before the preacher said it; knew it as it happened, when it happened. River trusted Book not to betray her. Simon would learn when time allowed. Now was not that time.

Jayne was close. The hunter was not. Poor Simon, she thought, knowing Zoë stood by his side during the operation. Soon, there'd be a second patient, in worse condition that first. To make matters worse… The lion limped away wounded.

As River quickened her pace to get to Jayne, she knew Mal was gaining ground, too. He was determined not to lose anyone, _dong le ma?_ She didn't want to tell him the foreboding news.

Wounded animals only got angrier.

--------

Simon held his arms tightly across his chest as he watched his patient rest. Simon hadn't bothered looking at the time, hadn't wanted to know how long this battle had lasted. Thankfully it was Zoë who assisted him, in countless ways. Her speed and efficiency helped him try to keep ahead of the regressing systems…

He was so exhausted that he almost didn't anticipate Wash's approach, startling both of them when Simon jumped.

"Sorry," the pilot said. "Zoë's asleep now, so I thought it was safe to see how you're doing. You should be sleeping, too."

Simon eyed the cup of chamomile tea in the other man's hand. Wash's sincerity was welcoming, comforting, soothing. While the others had crowded Simon in the infirmary, Wash was calmly getting on the Cortex. Simon furrowed his brow at that. He wouldn't have known that if River hadn't-.

"River," he said softly, belying the weight of fear and anticipation of her absence.

Wash cleared his throat. "Um, Mal went after her when she didn't return from the party. Larry's helping with a discrete search. They'll find her, Simon. Don't worry." He paused. "That's my job."

Simon stood numb. "She let me do my job and did nothing…."

"Hold up, now. You… Book _needed_ you. You did what you had to do. No one's going to fault you for that. That means you, too. River… She'll come back."

Simon painfully turned to look at him and asked, "Why are you so sure?"

"I know my family. So should you."

He felt Wash watching him, waiting…for what? As if in response, Simon's body gave out on him completely, starting from the sore leg on up. Wash caught him on the way down…not stopping the exhausted doctor from sleep.

---------

He woke up to see Kaylee looking down at him. "How long?" he asked as he tried to sit up. His muscles ignored his commands.

"More than a day now. Murphy insisted on bringing everyone back to the house, so…"

Simon reflected on that, finally noticing the differences between here and home. There were other voices below, not many, mostly hushed. Simon closed his eyes and thought back to Lucinda, Park and Benat and swallowed back the sadness he didn't have time for.

"Where's Book?" he asked.

"They moved him to a hospital here." Quickly, Kaylee added, "As a precaution, you know."

Simon didn't take it as an insult, if that was what she feared. It was probably for the best – to have all the available tools to assess the Shepherd's condition properly. He closed his eyes again and found Zoë, asleep as well, Wash beside her, concerned as expected.

"Is Inara about?"

"No. She went to see some fella. Didn't hear about what, so…" Kaylee picked up one of his hands and held it close to her. "I'm sorry I weren't any better help when you needed-."

"You did fine," he said. With his free hand, he took her by the chin to look her in the eye. "You did fine." With a thumb, he brushed aside a tear rolling down her face.

"Well…" she said trying to be brave, "so did you. You did better than fine, in fact." They smiled.

"River? Mal?" he asked finally. He didn't sense either one or Jayne.

Kaylee pulled away from him. "You should rest. Yep, you need your rest."

Simon pushed himself up by the elbow. "What's happened, Kaylee?" He was crushed when she didn't answer, feeling her sorrow as it weighed heavily from his heart.

------

It was well late into the evening before things stirred on the Murphy property - some arguing, some yelling of orders and such.

Simon grabbed his walking stick and made his way to the commotion. He knew what he wanted to see, _who_ he needed to see. Instead of three family members walking back, Simon only saw one. The anger, disappointment, guilt and….all were a spinning turmoil in Simon's mind.

He pushed his way past those clustered at the entrance, past Zoë, past Kaylee. Simon stopped when he caught up with the one person, equally wounded, had stopped. He didn't need to rely on what he felt to hear what wasn't said. The eyes said it all.

'I'm sorry,' Malcolm Reynolds' face said.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Persephone

"Sir?" Zoë asked as she approached him. "What happened?"

Mal looked at Simon a moment longer before answering. "Jayne's been hurt, bad. Took a while for them to find us before taking him to some hospital."

"Where you should be," Wash said noting Mal's injuries.

Mal ignored him. "Tried to go after River next, but… Even one of their farmers with the best gift of trackin' couldn't find… Went far out in the same direction, too… Couldn't hear her one bit. Zoë, she's as good as you, maybe better." He paused. "We're still lookin' for her. No one gitting left."

Simon nodded slowly, making to tend to one of Mal's wounds. Mal pulled away. "Zoë, I want you and the crew to finish the job. Take this here cargo to-."

"Not going without you, Sir," Zoë said. "Besides, Shepherd-."

"I know. I seen him. But, this job gotta deadline and I don't want us being late." He motioned to the rest of the crew. "You all can git there and we'll use a shuttle to catch up." He gestured to the locals gathered around. "We'll find her."

Simon swayed against his cane. Everything he said about the job was a lie - no deadline, no way for the shuttle to get that far out. "You should rest, captain. Try and go out there again in your condition and-."

He moved to one side as Mal's fist came from the other, going full swing before Zoë and Wash could restrain him. "Don't patronize me, boy! She's out there and-."

"And it isn't your fault," Simon said before he could stop himself. This time, he winced as Mal made to charge him, futilely. "She…she knew what she was doing." He turned to walk away. "She knew what she was doing all along."

--------

Kaylee replaced the old catalyzer with the new one, doing her best not to take her frustrations out on Serenity. Ain't the ship's fault they were in the fix they were in. Ain't Simon's fault that… "Gorrammit!"

Inara walked up behind her and pulled her in the direction of the hammock. "It's been a while since I heard you swear, Kaylee."

The mechanic thought about it and realized she was right. "Don't know why," she said. "Ain't like that changed since Shepherd and…." She knew that was a lie. As much as Simon changed to fit in with this family, a bit of him rubbed off on her – something she wasn't about to admit to him or anyone. "Why can't things go smooth like for more than a moment, Inara?"

The companion smiled at her as she sat on the other end of the hammock. "If things were 'perfect' all the time, how would we know or appreciate them? Don't fear the worst, Little Kaylee. That isn't like you."

Kaylee gave a mischievous smile of her own. "That wasn't like Simon to do what he did, neither." She laughed harder as she thought back on it until she was crying. It was from the silliness, she told herself, knowing it was half-true. "Think Cap'n will leave him here on account of it?"

Inara shook her head. "It was either going to be Simon or Zoë to do it. At least a hypo was used to knock him unconscious. If it was me, I would have punched him."

Kaylee looked at her, surprised. "Nah, you wouldn't do that, would you?" Part of her didn't want to know. "Who did you go see earlier?" she asked, hoping for a distraction. As much as she joked with Inara about any possible wealthy handsome men 'rescuing' Inara from this life, Kaylee knew, if she ever left, it would be….

Inara gave a slight smile then said, "It's none of your concern, Little Kaylee. Getting the ship ready for the cargo is. I'll hel-."

"No you won't!" Kaylee thought that was as absurd as…well…. "Wash and I got it just fine. Simon's offered to help."

Inara feigned injury. "You'll accept a crippled one over a Companion. I see how it works." To quickly reassure her, Inara added, "Don't worry, Mal would have done the same thing – saying he wouldn't want me to get 'dirty.'"

Kaylee heard the double-meaning and accepted it. "Think he meant it? Us leaving first thing in the mornin' I mean?"

Sighing, Inara said as she got up, "I've not known Mal to never say what he didn't mean, Kaylee. As much as I disagree with his decision, I know he's right. I'm just glad Zoë managed to buy us an extra day."

--------

Zoë and Wash calmly finished their meal as Mal made his way out of his bunk.

"Mutiny, I tell you! That's what that was," Mal said rubbing the back of his neck. "Remind me to fire that doctor."

"Yes, sir," Zoë said not looking up at him. "I'll let you tend to Jayne and Shepherd then."

He gave her a look. "They're back? When? How? What-?"

"Whoa, careful, Mal," Wash said biting back a laugh. "Too many questions like that and you'll be out again."

"That and I'm not in the mood to help the Doc redo all that work, either," Zoë said. "You throw him off; then you throw me off, Sir."

"And I always follow my wife," Wash added. Seriously, he said, "Larry's guys brought them back, cleared for travel, although, he said he'd gladly work with Warren to change up the deadlines a bit. Shepherd's liable to be on his feet sooner than we thought, though."

"What about Jayne?"

Zoë shook her head. "He'll pull through. They mended him proper."

"He's about as bad as you are, or were," Wash said. "Was just as hellbent on getting back out there and…"

"Don't start with me, Wash," Mal said storming off in the other direction. Before turning the corner, he asked, "We set to go?"

"First thing in the morning," Zoë said.

Wash knew how his wife felt about that, just as well as anyone else on board. It was wrong. They all knew it. But, with no word from Larry's search teams, no new clues, and nothing from Simon… Wash felt as though he told his first lie ever, and he hated it.

-------

Simon sat just outside the ship, a part of him back on another planet with Book and Inara, part of him outside in the garden with his sister. He closed his eyes. He needed to focus. It was any wonder that Mal didn't kill him or slug him after what he had done, but…

No. Now. His sister was close. He knew it, felt it. Murphy's search team would never find her because she excelled at hiding in the open. That had to be something she learned at the Academy, he thought. Slowly, he gleamed a bit more of what had happened there, maybe a tiny measure of it. That wasn't what scared him.

What she had learned; had begun to grow into…that frightened him. As much as he was focused on saving life, protecting it, Simon knew… No, it wasn't her fault. The Academy, the Alliance altered her.

He knew that wasn't entirely true anymore than it was Mal or Serenity's fault that he changed the way he did. Some of it was inevitable. Some of it was… Simon took out the fake ident and looked at the name. It made sense, the new one. Would let him justify using his old one still. He could still go and help others, if possible.

Simon knew he'd remain a doctor for life – at least that's how long he figured it would take to make River whole. Thinking back to the information gathered from Ariel, Simon learned more than he wanted to know and yet it wasn't enough. The surgeries seemed useless at first, until one studied the complete picture.

"They'll get what they deserve, River," he said softly, "every single one of them will."

He looked out into the darkness, aware that Sir Murphy was sincere in his offer of letting the Tams stay, aware that Kaylee wanted him inside the ship, warm and safe, and aware of the guilt and doubt that weigh on Wash's mind.

Simon focused on a tree in the distance, its branches dancing in the breeze as it picked up speed. River danced like that before…

"Stop it," he whispered to himself. "Now. Have to focus on the 'now.'" Simon returned his focus, narrowing it down to one leaf in particular. The stem seemed so fragile, so easy to be torn free of the tree and be lost forever. Yet, he knew looks could be deceiving, that leaves soaring on the wind weren't always lost.

He didn't remember dozing off. He didn't remember giving in to the visions that plagued him. He didn't remember ending up in the void of nothingness that simply held him, simply stopped him until….

The Butterflies Ballet emerged. The unfolding of colorful wings whispering in the once existing emptiness bloomed to life as Simon saw his sister dancing, completely carefree. He'd join her, and for a while keep up with her, until another metamorphosis took place and he was back in the margins, waiting. After a while, his own metamorphosis coming to pass, he'd join her once more, until she leapt beyond him. So was their ballet, of changes and flights that only the other one saw and praised, heard and embraced.

Simon thought back to the party and enjoyed her happiness; even if she thought he didn't know what had tempered it, that Atherton Wing was now the deadly hunter to fear. Jubal Early…

Simon opened his eyes and braced himself as best he could.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Serenity

"River," he said as he got up slowly, determined not to let the wave of emotions coursing through him knock him down. No matter what happened or what had changed, he would always be there for her, even after death, if he had to.

She approached him, forever his little sister, ready for a hug. He obliged, fighting the tears that would fall with hers – his from relief, hers from exhaustion. She folded into him yet barely weighted a thing as he led her to her room.

He carefully got her ready for bed before gently laying her down and then tucking her in. Simon knew. He knew part of what Mal's eyes had said the other night; knew Book's aching heart was from more than just the wounds. Simon turned to look over his shoulder at the origin of the shadow cast from the doorway. "We can go now," Simon said.

Mal grunted. "You sure I ought not to leave you here, seein' as how you did what you done?" It wasn't said with disappointment, anger, guilt or sadness – as his parents would have done, certainly. It was just…said, in Mal's way of…It was Mal's way.

Simon looked back at River. "Those wounds would have seen a worse infection and you knowed it."

Mal's sharp laugh broke the uneasiness in the room even as River slept. "You've been on this boat too long, boy." There was a pause, then a scrap of a chair against the floor. "Thank you just the same, though."

They sat there in silence for quite some time, both of them aware that rest would come in handy, their cargo restless in the bay below.

"You know," Mal said pulling a part of the blanket up off the floor, "I'd have seen to that Early fella if-."

"He would have killed you," Simon said matter-of-factly. "It's any wonder Jayne's still alive, truth be told."

Mal looked at him. "Thought you were the target."

"I was," Simon said. "I don't know how or why he came here. I'm sure whatever planet we would have stopped off next would have been perfect for him. I mean…I don't know what I mean," he said. Simon held his sister's hand, circling his thumb atop it ever so softly. "Jayne had his reason for doing it," he said. "Knew something you didn't."

Mal bristled beside him. "Was this somethin' you knew, too?" Simon nodded. "Think it _might_ be worth telling me 'bout it now?"

Simon knew the unspoken plea with the thinly veiled command and decided he owed it to the captain. When he had finished telling Mal the details of the 'conversation' that Simon had with Jubal Early, and what he felt of Jayne's reaction – burning him almost as badly as River's ever had – it was all Mal could do not to overreact.

"Reason enough, I suppose," he said at last. "This the last time we're dealin' with this nonsense?"

Simon knew Mal knew the answer; knew he wouldn't tell the others unless they had to know. "Yes," he said.

"Git some sleep, then, Doc," Mal said, getting up to leave. "You still got patients to see after."

"Never in want of work," Simon said.

---------------

Zoë looked at Mal as he took over the flying duties. "Double-checked the Cortex myself, Sir," she said, checking other information now. "No sign of him."

Mal nodded. "For now. Let's hope it lasts." He glanced to her. "Think things gonna get worse for us, Zoë?"

"Hard to when you're already at the bottom, Sir," she said. "Then again, been a while since we've been in that kind of valley."

He thought about it a moment. "You're right. Been a while indeed." He paused. "Think we did wrong by the kids?"

"No, sir."

He smiled, liking the speed and certainty of the answer. "Me, neither." It would be a long time 'til they got to where they were going. Plenty of time to converse and reflect and all that, he figured. "Zoë?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Ever shoot me with a hypo like that again, you mind if I git mad at you?"

Zoë deadpanned, "Only if I mess it up."

"Fair 'nough." He looked out at the stars, thanking Buddha - and that was a surprise – that they hadn't seen hide nor hair of Reavers or Alliance so far. The former was something the kids could go without seeing, avoid having a myth of theirs shattered a while longer. The latter, well, given Mr. Murphy's card and Mr. Universe's expertise, Simon Tam was as good as dead now on the Cortex.

"Think he's given up?"

Mal looked at her, knowing whom she was referring to. "For now. Wait 'til he's bored for somethin' to do and we go at it again."

"Thinking about killing him, Sir?"

He wanted to, more than he realized. Then again, Malcolm Reynolds wasn't the type to shoot an unarmed man – no matter how much a pain in the backside he was – without provocation. Depended on how Gabriel Tam tipped that scale, he decided. "Not my place," Mal said at last. He'd leave that up to Simon and River, knowing Simon had earned the greater say in his right; River in hers.

----

Simon hadn't moved from where he sat the entire time she slept. For the first time ever, he could hear _all_ of her thoughts, her nightmares, and her ramblings. He kept his eyes closed as he held her hand in both of his. No barriers, no secrets this time. Simon felt himself drowning in the deluge of details, both concrete and conceptual. He doubted any earlier medical training had prepared him for what lay in store. He shivered. Someone was there.

Simon opened his eyes and saw the last person he expected on his feet. Part of him wanted to order the patient back to bed, knowing full well that would never happen.

"How is she?" Jayne asked not setting foot across the threshold.

"Recovering," he said. "How are you doing?" Jayne shrugged. "I'd have checked up on you sooner," Simon offered.

"Nah. Them docs did alrigh' – not like you'da done, but…" Jayne looked at the ground. "I shoulda had him. Shoulda killed him instead of-."

"What happened, happened," Simon said. "Things have a reason for happening."

Jayne shook his head. "That be nonsense and you're soundin' like Kaylee now."

"She has a way of seeing the sunny side of things," Simon said. He made a note of reminding her of that, among other things, soon.

"Well, you know, I could use a day without that kinda sun, you know. Because, you know, a day without sun is like…."

Simon looked at him, knowing the mercenary meant well in his own way. "Night?" Simon offered.

"Yeah, g'night," Jayne said then left.

Simon shook his head, wondering at what step Jayne would get the meaning of what was said. Regretfully, he let go of his sister's hand and went to see to the other patients.

---

Shepherd Book turned slowly to his visitor and set his bible down. "Hello," he said.

"Hello," Inara said as she took the corner of his bed. "Did the doctor give you a clean bill of health?"

"Yes," Book said nodding. "Simon's quite diligent in his orders of rest and recuperation. I wish he'd follow that same advice."

Inara agreed. "It's to be expected, I suppose."

"I suppose," repeated Book. "But, that's not why you're here. What's on your mind?"

Inara got up, closed the door, and then sat down again, a confession to make.

-----------

Kaylee set a bowl down in front of Simon and waited. After a sip or two and still more silence, he finally spoke.

"Kaylee? I love you."

She beamed. "That's a nice thing to hear, especially from you," she said. "Wondered how long it would be, though."

"I'm shy?" he offered as a defense.

Kaylee shook her head. "Gorrammit, Simon! If you're shy, then I'm a klutz!" She held up a hand before he could protest. "And the fact that you done said what you said…" she shook her head, torn between huggin' and kissin' him or asking him to marry her. "I… I love you, too, Simon."

"If I could promise you a bit more stability, security and the like, I'd…" He shook his head. That wasn't what supported a marriage, he thought. Simon knew what she wanted to hear, what he wanted to say. But he couldn't do it. Not yet, not now. Maybe when they landed…

"I knowed. You've got another woman in your life in more need of you than me," she said, not meaning the hurt to pour through the way it did.

Sick with guilt, he put the bowl down and left.

Kaylee all but ran to her bunk, nearly knocking Wash over in the process. He followed her down to see what was the matter. Through the tears and hiccups, he heard a partial answer of sorts.

"He wants what's best for you," Wash said. "I'm sure he'd ask you to marry him. It's just…"

"He don't want someone like me or a life like this," Kaylee said, "not really."

"Nonsense! Kaylee, he loves you. I can see that and I'm not him. But, a guy like me….knows. Want a second opinion?" Kaylee shook her head. "Too bad." With that, he sought the most knowledgeable person he knew who'd get the topic.

-----

Darn Wash! That's all Mal could think of as he sought his mechanic now hiding in the engine room. "Kaylee?" Why didn't Wash get his wife for this? "Kaylee!" Or better still, the preacher? "Kaylee!?"

She lay on her hammock fingering a broken button between her fingers in front of her. "Cap'n," she said at last.

"We'll be there a week's time and you don't give me no updates on how the ship or cargo are holdin' up," he said by way of easing into the topic. "Whole point of knowin' the…the other half of one's bein' is to…know. You know?"

Kaylee chuckled. "Serenity's just fine, cap'n. Had she been hurtin' she'd a told me long ago." She waited. "Wash sent ya?"

"Nope," he said. "Curious as to how you're fairin' with the doctor, is all." He wanted to punch the boy if the 'mother hennin' continued one more time. Zoë's look changed that, of course.

"He almos' asked me to marry him," she said. "Changed his mind."

Mal put a hand on her shoulder. "Little Kaylee, no man in their right mind would change theirs on account of asking you to marry 'em, _dong ma?_ He'll ask you."

"How do you know?"

"I just do," he said. Of course, he knew rightly a many different things, not all of them having to be shared aloud. One of them bordered on revelation, but that depended on Kaylee. "He still has to pass my pre-marital prep course, so, that might be holdin' him up some," Mal said. "Always gits himself in trouble with the 'when can I kill ya' part."

Kaylee laughed this time. "He won't hurt me, Mal," she said. "I knowed that with all my heart. Hurtin' others isn't his way."

Mal kept a steady gaze as he said, "He won't hurt you, Little Kaylee."

--------------

Simon imagined himself extracting the cancerous cells of her being, absorbing them into himself. He knew what happened to Jubal Early, had seen and felt everything that transpired through her eyes. He knew there was more to Shepherd Book than some others, yet this…. Simon 'followed' Jayne in his pursuits, aware of the blow-by-blow that followed far from where anyone else could see or hear.

Simon closed his eyes tighter as he followed his sister, who had '_gone after the hunter_.' Had he paid attention then, Simon chided himself. It was a cat-and-mouse game, River and Early taking turns, with Early clueless as to the reason of this unknown hunter-prey. Another bounty had brought that hunter to Persephone; a mercenary's need for vengeance brought him to the hunter.

Swaying a moment, Simon felt the death blows, saw the nonchalant manner in which the body was disposed. No one would really miss Jubal Early. Otherwise, he would have lived. No. Out there, dead completely as their parents were emotionally, lay Jubal Early, most likely never to be found by or sought for by anyone.

River opened her eyes. "You shouldn't have done that," she said.

"Had to," he said. "Have to help heal you." Simon knew she knew, had been completely aware in her own way.

She shook her head. "Can't cut the assassin out from me," she said. "Butterflies' Ballet."

He didn't want to admit defeat to the point. "Me to life, you to death," he said shaking his head. "That doesn't make sense, River. When would it end?"

Without a beat, she said, "You know."

He answered, "No, I don't." Simon took her hand. "I know you haven't killed anyone else, River. We could stop this, here, now."

River put a hand to his cheek and looked at him sadly. "It will end when it ends," she said. "Like your tremors, though, that will be never." Of course, she heard his pleas in her mind, his reach for hope. "They can be controlled," she said. "You have a key for when necessary."

"I don't want to use it, though, _mei-mei._" He looked her in the eye and added, "Please, don't make me." He was thankful that she respected him enough not to pry the key phrase from him or worse, make it mute. Then again, he felt guilt about what he had gotten away with these last couple of weeks.

"You had to," she said. "I'll still let you. One more week until we land, until the creatures below are finally free. Right now, they're frustrated, confused, confined."

"What about you, River," he asked, ignoring the other emotions around him for the moment. "How are _you_ feeling?"

Pulling herself up into a sitting position, she held onto his shoulders and said, "I feel what you feel what I feel."

He narrowed his eyes, confused and concerned. "River…" 

"Don't make a face. You know it's true," she said then kissed him on the cheek. "No soother. I'll sleep." She kissed his other cheek, then lay down, turning her back to him.

-------

The landing at Jiangyin was smooth as was the releasing of the cargo. Shepherd and Jayne were well enough to lend a hand. Mal watched as his family worked, thinking back to what Inara had said about him owning a ranch by now. It was a dream of his that was second after Serenity – a distant second. But, some year, he knew he'd settle down, want a place like what he had on Shadow. For now, he was content with having family nearby.

He turned to see the sheriff of the town approaching him. "Howdy," the man said, tipping his hat.

"Howdy yourself," Mal said tipping an imaginary one. "Here they are as promised."

The sheriff and his team walked around the corral inspecting. "They all seem fine," the sheriff said approvingly, "lean, but fine. Tell your man Murphy we thank him plenty."

"Oh, I'm sure he know that," Mal said. "Sorry we were a bit delayed and all-."

The sheriff waved him off. "We're thankful to you, too. Curious," he said taking a money bag from his inside pocket, "you folks gotta doctor on board?"

Mal looked at him apprehensively. "Why?"

"Just got us some ill and injured folk who need looking after. Our doc's fallen ill with a powerful virus. That, and Stark, a fella who speaks for one of the villages on the hill, he sent word down that they could use some help, too. Their doctor was lost to the last plague they had come through."

Mal thought it over, not feeling all out uneasy about the request. "Seems to me you'd need more than one doctor for all them."

"Well," the sheriff admitted, "figured we'd aim high then work our way down, hoping for some medicine if you've any to spare."

Mal noticed Zoë going up the walk, presumably to Simon's room. Knowing his first officer and doctor, they'd say 'yes' since Jiangyin wasn't exactly a hotbed of trouble like some other planets. Add to that a need to be planet-side after so long with a restless cargo... A quick glance to Book confirmed his notions. "See what we can do," Mal said. "In the meantime, you folks need help in shepherding these critters to town?"

"No. We'll get it just fine. If any of you and your crew want, town's just on the other side of them hills and we've a festival going on."

Mal smiled. Seemed he and his had a mite bit of good timin' with these festivals. "I'll check with the crew."

---

"I don't think it's right, that's all." Jayne said walking with Inara, Zoë, and Wash to town. "What's in it for us?"

Zoë slugged him, careful not to break the packages she, Wash and Inara had picked up per Mal's instructions; plus adding a few of their own. "It doesn't have to always involve money, Jayne. And it ain't everyday we could be big damn heroes. Besides, it might do him some good, a variety of non-life-threatening illnesses."

"Seeing you in action in a similar situation, dear," Wash said, "will be just as good. I've practice being a nurse."

Inara chuckled at Jayne's expression. "I'll help any way I can, too," she offered. How many patients do you think we'll have?"

"Fewer than Simon will probably see in the village," Zoë said. She was thankful that Mal was up to acting second medic there.

--

Simon felt more despair than he thought possible as they came closer and closer to the village, following this Stark's lead. It wasn't total helplessness as it was fatigue from some who had fought for so long. Upon entering the village, Mal and Book in the lead, leading a couple of cows each, a surge of hope and happiness rose.

He turned to Kaylee who walked beside him, taking it all in as he did. Her brightness barely dimmed even as they entered the village proper. River…was River.

"Where's your medical house?" Simon asked Stark once they crossed the bridge. Either by neglect or lack of energy and resources, most of the homes were overcome by vegetation. Stark motioned for Simon to follow. He knew who followed him and why and said nothing.

Upon entering the darken shack, he was amazed at how many ill and wounded were crowded in on cots and the dirt floor. He steeled himself to the task at hand, aware that his companion had done the same, but having had more experience with it. A triage in place, he and Mal treated the many as best and fast as they could. As he was after operating on Book, Simon was exhausted, but this was different, rejuvenating, if that made sense.

"I know how you feel, son," Mal said, washing up beside him. "Good to know this did some good. No problem sleeping for any of us, I'm sure."

Simon looked around in search of River. Kaylee put her arms around Simon's shoulders. "She and Shepherd are putting a fence up around a garden they planted. Stark and I fixed some things around here, so…" She rested her head against his back. "Think we earned a proper rest?"

Mal shook his head. "Kids, rest, play, eat, I don't care. Just…take it elsewhere, all right?" He even gave them a push to send them on their way.

He heard footsteps behind him, someone watching them then him. "What can I do for you?" Mal asked.

The other man put out his hand. "I'm the patron of this village. I wanted to thank you for the good works you've done here today. Ordinarily, we don't ask for help. We…um..."

"Take what you need as you need it," Mal said, saving the man's dignity and impressed with the honesty. "Look, we can stay here a couple days; help you where you need it. Right now, I'm taking my doctor home for proper rest."

The patron looked at him sagely. "You're a good father to your crew."

"And I protect like a good father, too. Don't you forget that."

----

Shepherd Book set down a plate before Simon. "Seems we all had a busy day today," he said sitting across from him.

"Thank you," Simon said, "for taking River under your wing."

Book shook his head. "Oh, no, son. I may have had my share of the garden at the abbey, but River's knowledge far surpasses mine. I learned a thing or two from her, I promise you."

Simon studied the older man and pondered something. "How did you know to find me, that night in the alley?" He sensed there was more to Derrial Book than he let on, but knew it wasn't his place to pry. There were boundaries to respect, especially from one's elders. Yet somehow…

Book merely smiled. "This would be a good place for River to rest a spell, too, I'd think. Little conflict, no major threats…that we can't handle at least." Off of Simon's look, Book gestured behind him. "Miss Doralee has a…unique perspective on life. So do many of the others there. Doubt they'd understand some of the…talents, that you, River and Kaylee possess. I'd suggest we don't wander too far from one another, regardless of what the Patron says."

"River would enjoy it, I'm sure." He sighed. "I don't know. I confess… I'll feel more at home when we get back in the air. There's something to be said for Serenity's song," he said. "I know what to expect there. Anywhere else and…" Simon knew he wasn't xenophobic or anything. It was just that he knew what he was used to, could count on. So what if a few mysteries still existed. If they were meant for revelation, they would be.

"Aaaah."

Simon's cheeks reddened. Had he been paying attention, he wouldn't have been caught off guard. "Now, before you go making fun of me…" 

"But, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said," Kaylee cooed before giving him a kiss.

He shook his head. "Think I can top it," he said, returning the kiss. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

She pulled away, blushing. "Yes. And yes, you did top it."

------

The common meal around the table was more festive than Simon expected. How the others knew so quickly, he couldn't say. Everyone had contributed something to the gifts, including Jayne. A ceramic plate entitled 'Jiangyin Paradise' was Simon and Kaylee's favorite, a gift from Mal, despite Inara's lighthearted protests. 'Somethin' simple,' he had said. Wash and Zoë's gifts were equally meaningful and treasured. Inara's gift didn't disappoint, nor was it something they'd dare frown at, given the sacrifice given for it. Book's was as obvious yet mysterious as the giver.

The question remaining was where to…

No, that was a silly question, Simon told himself. Everything was here along with everyone who mattered. As soon as they took to the air again, perhaps...

------

River slipped into Simon's room, looking graceful as ever, he thought. "It's about time," she said.

"I know, _mei-mei_, I know," he said. "I should have asked-."

"You already knew the answer. We all did. Had to wait for you to ask the question." She took his hand. "You deserve this. Release your fear and hold on to what you hold dear. I'll be fine. We'll be fine."

Simon shook his head, amazed at her certainty even as he 'heard' her say he shouldn't be. "Are you sure, _mei-mei?_ I mean, I've not asked you what you-."

"I want what you've always wanted for me – happiness."

"I thought you said emotion-."

"And you're supposed to be smart enough to know what is worth knowing and where truth lies."

He made a face, aware of a double meaning in there of sorts. She was so good at that, he thought. "River...," he shook his head, "I don't know how hard this is going to be.

"It's up to you to put together this family," she said.

The End


End file.
